thirty two
I remember him.
I remember Thomas. I remember the feel of his lips on my skin, the innocent eyes and the true mouth. I remember the taste of his kiss - salt and apple. I remember loving him and him loving me. I remember him, for all that he was, and all that he will never be.
I remember myself. Dangerous, adored, wealthy. I remember extravagant clothes and expensive jewellery. I remember a white room with a blue painting. I remember watching my happy mother late at night, dancing to jazz music with pearls fastened around her neck. I remember loving the beach and swimming. I remember a life worth living.
I remember an accident. A boy and girl. Water was involved, and so was death. We were dangerous. We were unbreakable. Until the moment we weren't and everything fell to pieces.
I remember not knowing. I remember trying so, so hard to remember. I remember a broken mother and a yellow room. I remember a beach nearly deserted by the actions of my past. I remember everything.
And now all I want is to forget.
