Letters For Him

3// Dear Myself..

Dear Myself,

I think it's time for you to really sit down and express your patched up feelings because they say times suppose to heal you but I haven't done much healing.

Even after a year has passed, I don't think you will ever get over the look on her face the night your whole world fell apart. It's funny really, how just one look can shatter your heart into millions of tiny pieces and scar you for life.

You didn't know what you were getting yourself in for when you first met Sophia and I'm sure all the heartache was worth it just to see her beautiful face every morning.

But what happened?

Even now you don't like to admit it, but you changed. Over the 4 years you were together you changed into a man you despised. And Sophia noticed. Yet she still loved you the same as when she first told you.

That is why Sophia is one of the strongest person you will ever know. Because after all that happened, all that you put her through, she came out stronger than you.

Although you blame yourself for the break up, Sophia still had her flaws and you had to keep remembering them so you wouldn't run straight back to her in your moments of weakness.

She was so stubborn you would have thought it was off putting if it wasn't for the those beautiful faces she pulled when things weren't going her way.

Having been told by your own mother that she's finally moved on and found
someone else, you kinda literally felt your heart break in two if that's even possible.

4 years of cherished memories swam through your mind like your own short film and when you came back to reality you forgot how to breathe. You know the day was coming when you found out Sophia had moved on and you could only blame yourself.

When those words slipped from her mouth, all you kept thinking about was the last day you saw her smile. That genuine smile she always did when you looked at her and by God you would stare.

She was sitting on the couch whilst you were making dinner, her head dug deep in a book, her long brunette hair tied in her all to well messy buns. She let out a heartwarming laugh and you took a glance at her from across the room and when your eyes met you felt that overwhelming feel you always did when she smiled at you like the way she was doing then.

It still hurts so much for you to think of her and thats okay, it means your healing. But it doesn't stop you thinking of the mistakes you made to make it all go wrong and you will never forgive yourself but you are only human.

Just remember, just because you let her go doesn't mean you wanted to.