Letters For Him

4// Now

Now

Leonardo

Light cascaded through the cream curtains and spread over the bed I was currently laid on yet I couldn't make myself open my eyes and face reality.

I was laid partly on my side, my long legs stretched towards the end of the bed and a plump pillow shielding my sight partly. There was a combination of stench filling the room but mostly alcohol which is the result of the pounding in my head. I can smell the soft fruity smell I have been used to for years and I have to think if I'm imagining it and before I know what I'm doing, I lift my self up to my elbows and glance down at my side, coming face to face with the woman from the bar who was flirting with me most of the night.

A feel my stomach drop when I realise it's not her. It's not Sophia. The woman must have sprayed herself with the perfume I have kept for over a year since she left and I feel anger burn up inside me at the thought of someone else smelling the way she does.

What is wrong with me?

Pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the frustration and closing my eyes, I breath slow breaths and clench my jaw tightly reminiscing about the night before.

Dom and I were having drinks at the bar a couple of blocks from my apartment, having been dumped himself  a few days ago we needed a guys night out but who would have thought I would end up with a woman in bed.

A sudden surge of regret and guilt mixed into one rushed through me and I immediately stood up nearly falling over the ruffled sheets before grabbing my boxers from the floor and slipping them on trying to make little sound as possible.

The young woman stirred for a moment, before she turned her head towards the other side, facing me and I found myself watching her for a moment.

Natural, short blonde hair, not what I usually go for, olive toned skin which I was vaguely beggining to remember from the scenes of last night. Her lips were a light pink and her nose straight and thin. She was a good looking girl, but she wasn't my Sophia.

My Sophia.

I didn't get to call her that anymore, not now. It had been a while since I last properly thought about her and it began to hurt when I remembered how we would wake up together in this same bed and she would enclose me in the sheets, placing her head on the crook of my arm where I would stroke through her dark hair that cascaded down her back. We could lay there for hours without saying a single word because we didn't need to, we were just together.

And now as I gaze down at the woman who I had brought home for the simplest reason of me trying to move on, I couldn't help but feel the regret seeping through me. I hadn't been I intimate with a woman since the break up before now and I was beggining to let myself believe I was finally getting somewhere, finally moving on with my life after a year but I knew it wasn't the truth.

Placing on a fresh shirt from my draw and pulling on some track pants, I silently make my way out of the bedroom straight into the kitchen where I proceed to pour myself a coffee, the symptoms of the alcohol catching up to me. I check my phone whilst taking a seat on the stool on the kitchen island, rolling my eyes at the text Dom must have sent when I left with..Leanne? Leila?

iMessage
Sent 2.16am
Dom: dude I'm soooo glad we went out tonight, nice choice btw she seemed fiesty ;) hit me up tomorrow with the details.

Sipping the last of my coffee I suddenly catch a glance of her long legs stood awkwardly in the bedroom door frame, my shirt from last night the only clothing around her. My mind goes blank at the realisation that I have slept with another woman that isn't Sophia and can't dismiss the aching pain in my heart at the thought of it.

"Leo right?" She asks, now gliding across the room to sit on the opposite stool. Her pale blue eyes scan me over and I can't miss the smirk tugging at her lips.

"Yeah that's right-"

"Louise?" She interrupts after a moments silence, I cringe at the fact I forgot her name but remember the consumption of alcohol we had both shared. I couldn't even remember my own name.

I watch as she pours herself a coffee like shes making herself at home and I mentally slap myself at bringing a girl back to my apartment.

"Nice place by the way." She mutters whilst taking a piece of toast from the middle counter and shoving it in her mouth with a small smirk.

"I designed it myself." I find myself telling her and drown in confusion at why I'm trying to make conversation with a girl I just slept with.

I need Louise to leave but It's only a Saturday so I don't have the excuse that I have work so I pray she will figure it herself but that doesn't look promising any time soon.

"So about last night-" she starts but I interrupt immediately.

"I just got out of a relationship, I'm not looking for anything serious Louise-" I mutter, trying not to look her straight in the eye but I catch a glimpse of her eyes widen in surprise and the tugging of her lips.

"Leo it's fine, I was just looking for a good time. Anyways I don't want to be no rebound from your ex that you couldn't stop talking about last night." I hadn't notice my teeth clench until it hurt and Louise noticed the anger and frustration in myself as she quickly changed the subject.

"So I think I should head home, you going to at least pay for my taxi?" She stood and began making her way towards the bedroom I presumed to get dressed. I watched her, my hands shaking a little around the coffee mug I was holding onto tightly.

"Erm yeah sure thing." I stuttered, my mind still racing over the sound of her name and the hurt in my heart when I think about her.

After the news came out over Sophia's new boyfriend, I threw myself into work and tried to block everything out about her but sleeping with another woman had been a big stepping stone for me.

How could Sophia move on so quickly?

Yes it has been just under a year since we had split but I knew in my heart I would never get over her. No matter how many women I sleep with, no mater how many alcoholic drinks I consume until my mind is blank, I would always wake up the next morning and turn and hope to see that beautiful face staring back at me.