Here is how it all goes down during a zombie apocalypse
It all starts
with a a-hole scientist who does crap he shouldn't be doing.
Scientist: "I know! Let's mix rabies with this old meatloaf and feed it to the gorilla!"
Naturally
the gorilla gets infected
So instead of say, locking up the gorilla in quarantine, he does something retarded like trying to teach it how to do math.
Scientist: "I believe in your potential, Coco!"
Once bitten
The scientist ignores his symptoms for as long as possible
Scientist: "I'm crying blood and have an uncontrollable urge to eat my children. I must need some tylenol."
Off to the hospital we go! Yayyyy!
Where a zombie is born
Once again, quarantine is out of the question.
Instead, the doctor gets within make-out range of the zombie to examine him.
Doctor: "Now hold still. If you're a good patient, I'll let you get a sucker from the bowl on your way out. Now say AHHH!"
"AAAAGGGHHHH, GRAAAAAGGGG, AAAGGGG!"
Doctor: "Thatta boy!"
You can imagine what happens next
Mister fancy- pants doctor gets MAULED
He then runs around the hospital biting, gnawing, and throwing up blood all over his patients.
(like a a-hole he is)
SHORTLY THEREAFTER.......
THE INFECTION SPREADS
way to go dumb retards!
MORE mistakes are made
Rather than staying at home with a shotgun pointed at the door,
Everyone goes outside to see if their loved ones are safe.
If you find a loved one
THE WRONG THING TO DO:
Random guy: "Barbara I still love you - and nothing is more powerful than love! After I meet you my life was changed forev- OH GOD BARBARA, NO!!!!!!"
THE RIGHT THING TO DO:
"I always hated date night" BANG lol
People start flocking to a supposed "SAFE ZONE"
Their trip does not end well,
They get turned into human hambuger meat.
"BWAHAHAHAH!"
(this is what zombies would say to that if they knew how to talk)
PRETTY SOON
The world is Incapacitated
You're all doomed!!!!
The survivors seek refuge
(And do a really crappy job at it)
Fun Zone Food 'N Guns 'R Us
Survivor: "Lets hide in the one on the left. It's got a ball pit!"
ONCE INSIDE THEY,
Squabble, FIGHT, and Bicker
Over who gets to be mayor of "We're- All- Freaking- Screwed- Ville"
"I'm in charge here"
"No, I am!!! You're too fat to run, Lard butt!!!"
MEANWHILE:
The Zombies push through their crappy barricade and eat them like the little retards they are.
Official score:
Zombies: 1
Humans: eh well you figure it out.
THE END!!!!
YOU ARE READING
Short Rambles
HumorWell..... I sort of changed what I was originally after so... My intent is to inform you readers about the upcoming zombie apocalypse and teach you how to survive. Every now and then there will be little chapters of facts and weird little rambles th...
