Sex Education: Anko Mitarashi Style

You want me to do WHAT now?

"You want me to what now?" Anko demanded, turning to Iruka, who had just delivered her a bit of news she wasn't particularly enthusiastic about.

"You're needed for your mandatory year of volunteer academy teaching duty." Iruka repeated.

"Not happening." Said Anko flatly, munching on a dango. "Waiter! Get me some sake! I'm not paying to stay sober damn it!"

"It's required of all chunin-level ninja," Iruka started, but he was cut off by Anko.

"I told you I'm not doin' it. It's called 'volunteer' for a reason, and I'm volunteering to stay out of it." She said, snatching the sake bottle irritably from the waiter and pouring herself a glass.

"Well, regardless, it's required. The Hokage himself told me you were long past due." Iruka stated. Anko sighed. She may be able to turn this annoying scar face down, but the Hokage? A different story entirely. "Just because you were promoted to Jounin earlier than most doesn't mean that you're exempt from teaching duty."

"Alright, fine, but don't expect me to be the perfect sensei you think I should be." Anko sighed. "Leave the bottle, asshole." She added to the waiter, who backed away at her sharp tone.

"Good enough." Iruka sighed, grinning slightly.

"What would I need to do?" Anko asked, pushing her cup aside and taking a small chug straight from the sake bottle.

"We'll talk about that tomorrow." Said Iruka. "Oh, and wear your standard attire. What you're wearing now isn't exactly academy appropriate."

"That blue suit with the flak jacket?" Anko verified. Iruka nodded. "Great. This year's going to be loads of fun, I can tell already." She groaned sarcastically.

The next day, Anko came to the academy, feeling very uncomfortable in the tight dark blue jumpsuit and green flak jacket standard issue of all Chuunin-level and higher ninja. She hated wearing such restrictive clothes, and this attire was made for her a good few years ago, so the bodysuit was very tight against her body, and the vest just added to her discomfort, binding her large breasts hard against her chest, giving her the appearance of an almost totally flat chest.

"Okay, so give it to me straight." Anko sighed, once she met Honya Tokunosuke, the headmaster of the ninja academy. "What am I teaching to these squirts?"

"I wouldn't expect an unsophisticated monkey like you to have much respect for your students right away." Anko turned with a look of irritation to see her long time enemy and polar opposite.

"Oh, hey Suzume. Still too afraid to wield a kunai for fear of chipping a nail?" Anko teased. Suzume made a snobbish gesture, pushed her unusually clean oval glasses up, and trotted over to handle some paperwork, the sound of her footsteps very even. Ever since they first met, Suzume and Anko absolutely despised each other; Anko was always to easygoing, lazy, and untidy for prim and proper Suzume's respect, and Suzume's stuffy, must-be-perfect attitude always irritated the shit out of Anko.

"If you two are done," Honya Tokunosuke said, clearing his throat. "You, Ms. Anko, are to teach sex education for this semester, and if..."

"Sex Education!" Suzume gasped, dropping a massive stack of papers. "Absolutely NOT! I will NOT allow it!"

"What? You jealous?" Anko smirked. Suzume pressed her glasses up again and said,

"I'm above such disgusting things. Mr. Tokunosuke, please! Do not entrust Mitarashi with something so important! Make her... taijutsu instructor, or, or something!"

"I'm sorry, but we already have three fine taijutsu instructors. I see no reason for..."

"Then I'll GIVE you a reason!" Suzume snapped. "Anko Mitarashi is the most foul, disgusting excuse for a kunoichi the Village Hidden in the Leaves has ever seen! She should not be allowed to..."