Sex Education: Anko Mitarashi Style

Are you ready for your first lesson?

The young would-be kunoichi of the Leaf Village sat in awe, looking around the sex ed classroom of Anko Mitarashi. The windows were covered by shades, blocking out most light, rather than hard wooden desks, the girls sat on soft, heart-shaped pouffs, a pleasant smell lingered in the air from scented candles placed here and there, and several flower pedals littered the floor. Their teacher, Anko, was sitting on top of the teacher's desk in a playful way, donned only a fishnet bodysuit that did nothing at all to conceal herself.

"Welcome girls. Now, are you ready for your first lesson?" She asked pleasantly. An awkward silence proceeded. None of the girls quite knew the answer to that question.

"Um, what happened to the classroom?" A shy girl with short dark indigo hair asked awkwardly.

"I made some special modifications to it." Anko grinned. "For today, this is not a classroom. It's a special flower garden where you girls may bloom. So before we can begin today's lesson, are there any lesbians in this room?" Everyone was quiet. "Come, on be honest! Don't feel shy." Still nothing. "Does anyone in this room know what a lesbian is?" A general murmur of 'no' spread across the room.

"Aren't they people from somewhere called Lesbia? I heard my dad talking about it with some of his friends." One girl spoke up, making Anko laugh her head off, everyone else giving her questioning looks.

"Kid, if there were such a place, I would be living there." She laughed. Once regaining her composure, she gave a serious breath and continued, "No. A lesbian is another word for a female homosexual." The students exchanged curious looks with one another. "Seriously? How sheltered are these kids?" Anko thought.

"Okay, who here likes boys?" She asked aloud. Unsurprisingly, this time many of the girls shot their hands in the air. "Okay. Who here LOVES boys?" She asked, with a naughty little emphasis on 'loves.' Almost every girl in the class was standing on their toes waving their hands in the sky. "Okay then. So who here liked girls?" The euphoria that spread at the mention of boys was almost immediately silenced, everyone taking their seats again and putting their hands down. Way down. "Be honest here, who loves girls the way most other girls love boys?" Anko insisted, believing hard that there had to be at least one who was at least a little curious about love in the same locker room. "No one? Really? It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Why are you asking us this, Anko-sensei?" someone asked.

"Simply put, I'm interested to know." said Anko. "Thing have changed since my days at the academy, and I was hoping to see at least one proud lesbian in my class. But no? That's cool, I guess." One incredibly timid girl with neck-length silky black hair and green eyes looked ready to raise her hand, but, as it shook violently without even raising it halfway to her head, she dropped it right away. Anko took notice, and winked at the frightened girl, though no one else seemed to notice.

"Why would any girls WANT to like another girl?" A blonde with a very long ponytail asked.

"Well, it's complicated," Anko explained. "But some people are just different like that. Some people have different tastes in who they love, and boy or girl, there's nothing wrong with it."

"My mom tells me people like that are sick and evil." One girl spoke up.

"Your mom's the sick and evil one if she really thinks that way." Anko retorted, ignoring the girl's outraged shouting. "At any rate, I myself am a bisexual, meaning I like both men AND women....

"You're a sick teacher, and you will NOT insult my parents like that and...!" The girl yelled furiously, but Anko cut her off as she swooped in on her with lightning speed, kunai in hand.

"Listen to me..." Anko hissed dangerously, checking her student roster for the angry girl's name. "Kurai, this is my class, and you will NOT speak to me like that. If you have a problem with my views, go bitch to someone who cares, because there's no one in this room who does. Now stay quiet, and unless you can teach the class better, shut up, sit down, and let me do things MY way. Got it?" Kurai nodded very nervously, coated with sweat. Anko returned to where she stood by the teacher's desk and continued as though there hadn't been any interruption,