CAROLINE'S POV
"Care, come on, if you don't start now you never will." Taylor said to me while swinging the car keys around her finger.
"But it's a Saturday, everybody is going to be on the roads." I told her, near tears.
"I'll drive us out somewhere nobody is at then you can start." She said, pleading me with her eyes.
For the last week it had been evident that Taylor wanted me to start driving again, but I'd been trying to avoid the topic. Now she was bringing matters into her own hands. We got back from Europe a week ago and she had been driving me to school all week. I understood that she had work and other things to do, but I also knew that me behind the wheel of a car wasn't a good idea this soon after the accident. I had tried to tell her this too, but she reminded me that it had already been two months.
After some more arguing and a few tears I gave in and Taylor was driving us into the suburbs. Asher was texting me on the drive out, he was awaiting his ACT scores, they were supposed to come out today. Even though he was a senior this was the first time he'd taken the ACT, and it was mostly because I had told him it would be a good idea. I was already signed up to take it for the first time in December, and I was enrolled in a prep course for it at school.
Soon enough Taylor put the car in park and looked over at me. I opened my door and walked around the car to switch spots with her, and once we were both buckled my hands began to sweat. I have to admit, there was nobody else out driving in this neighborhood, but I was still afraid.
Tears started welling in my eyes as I pressed down on the brake and put the car in drive. Taylor was studying my face nervously and she saw my wet eyes.
"It's okay Care, everything is going to be fine, I'm here." She said softly as I slowly took my foot off the brake and the car started moving forward. The speed limit was 25 and I was going 15 down the empty street. Taylor understood how scared I was because she just kept telling me how good I was doing.
After 20 minutes of driving slowly around empty neighborhoods I finally didn't feel so nervous. I definitely didn't want to drive down any busy streets, but I was confident in what I was doing now. When we were done Taylor drove us back into the city and picked up some food before heading home.
As soon as I walked through my bedroom door when we got home my phone started ringing. I answered and before I could say hello Asher's voice started talking 100 miles a minute into my ear. I could hardly understand what he was saying, but I knew he sounded upset.
"...and you're the one who got it into my head that I should take this fucking test anyway and that I should go to college or something. Farmers don't need to go to college and besides, not even shit schools let in someone with an ACT score of 15. For a second I actually thought I might be the first man in my family to go to college and have a real career, why did you have to put these bullshit ideas into my mind?" He was saying into the phone, his voice getting louder with every word.
Once he was finally done talking there was silence. I didn't have anything to say to that. My chest hurt and I could feel my eyes start to sting. I inhaled a shaky breath and was ready to hang up the phone when he started talking again.
"Caroline-" He said in a softer tone and a slower voice before I cut him off by hanging up. I let tears slowly slide down my cheeks. I was still trying to process everything. He got a 15 on his ACT and he was blaming it on me. I could hardly see the logic behind it, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt.
I turned my phone off and put it down on the bedside table. I climbed underneath the covers in my bed and let tears flow from my eyes. Asher wasn't dumb. I'm sure he could've gotten a higher score if this wasn't the first time he'd taken it, or if he'd done any studying at all. But after he got his scores back he went straight for me instead of reflecting back on his own lack of preparation.
I kept trying to tell myself that what he said about me putting stupid ideas into his head was just him spewing nonsense out of frustration. But part of me believed him, maybe it was dumb for me to even suggest this test to him. He did want to be a farmer, and if that worked out he wouldn't have to go to college. But he's only a senior in high school, he could change his mind and decide he does want to go to college, and then it would help that he took the ACT. I kept trying to rationalize the whole scenario from both our point of view's in my head as a steady flow of tears came down my face and my breathing was getting caught in my throat.
Maybe it was bullshit that I suggested he take that test, I thought as I heard footsteps coming towards my door. I quickly tried to wipe tears from my face but as soon as the doorknob turned I knew there was no hiding it.
"Hey Care-" Taylor stopped mid sentence when she saw my red rimmed eyes and heard my uneven breaths. Her face immediately expressed a look of concern as she slowly walked over to my bed.
"What's wrong?" She said softly while pushing my hair back and sitting down in the edge of my bed. I couldn't speak because of how hard I was crying. Taylor rubbed my back waiting for me to say something. I tried to talk, I tried to tell her, but my words kept getting caught in my breath and soon I was hyperventilating.
"Shhh, it's okay, you don't have to talk about it." Taylor told me, suddenly more worried. She got up farther onto my bed and rested her back against the headboard. She softly got a hold of me under my armpits and pulled my limp body up towards her into as close as she could get me into a sitting position. She was trying to help me breathe. Taylor's legs were spread and I was sitting between them, leaning back against her body. She pulled the sheets of my bed over our legs and held me tightly.
"Breathe, Caroline." She whispered, trying to get me to calm down. Now I was crying about the anxiety attack I was having, on top of crying about Asher.
"Caroline, everything will be okay. I love you, alright?" She said when my breathing picked up again. She stroked my hair and kissed my forehead softly. Taylor continued to hug me and talk to me and eventually I was a little more calm.
When I was able to form words, I began to tell Taylor what had happened.
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Hey guys, I'm back!
