TAYLOR'S POV
"Yeah, nice to meet you too!" I said to a fan in the parking lot of a local Christian church before heading to the car where Caroline was waiting. The service had gotten over around 10 minutes ago and it wasn't long before I was bombarded with requests for pictures and signatures.
I didn't usually go to church, not because I don't believe, but because life is so crazy. Touring, making music, pleasing the public, and raising a child can be a little overwhelming sometimes. Caroline came here alone some Sundays, but today I came to church with her upon her request. Her and Asher just broke up yesterday and she isn't in the best state of mind.
"Hey you, sorry I took so long." I said to Caroline as I got into the drivers seat of the car and pulled out of the parking lot. As promised, I headed towards our favorite brunch place in Nashville.
The ride there was silent besides the hum of the engine and the outside sounds of city traffic. Caroline hasn't said much this morning. I don't doubt that she's crushed that they broke up, but I truly think she's more upset by the things Asher has said to her through the course of their relationship than the fact that it's over.
As much as I tried to sleep last night I just couldn't. It hurt me too much to hold Caroline's tense body in my arms and feel the heartbreak radiating off her.
3 AM
Just as my dreams were about to carry me away Caroline shifted in my arms. I slowly opened my eyes and saw her hand reach up to wipe a tear. I stayed still, trying to get a better look at her face when I saw her hand go over her open mouth and felt her silently sob into my chest.
"Baby." I whispered, making her look up at me and wipe at her cheeks.
"It's okay." I said softly, stopping her hands and letting the tears stream down her cheeks and onto my t-shirt.
"I want my dad." She said in a broken voice, her face contorted with sobs. My heart broke for her, knowing how much it had hurt her not to have remembered what day it was earlier, and then to have gotten into a fight and broken up with Asher.
"I know." I said. What else was there to say? She had gone through unimaginable amounts of pain in 17 short years and now she was being faced with more. None of it was fair.
I looked over at my daughter in the passenger's seat as I pulled into a parking stall at the restaurant. If I didn't know what was going on I would think she was unaffected, she's was so strong. She's had too much practice at hiding her hurt.
CAROLINE'S POV
My stomach filled with the anxiety as the bell rang and everyone packed up their things and headed to their last period class. Senior English. I had been dreading it all day because Asher would be there. I had already been getting questions about the two of us all day and more than a few not-so-secretive stares in the hallway. Everybody knew what had happened, but not everybody told the same version of the story.
Getting ready for school this morning was a chore. I didn't think I could handle it today, but I knew Taylor would not approve of me trying to skip out. So I'd thrown on sweats and put my hair in a ponytail, looking like a disheveled girl who had just gotten her heart broken, which I was.
The crowds in the hallway got smaller and smaller as I walked across the entire school to get to my classroom. I was always the last one to English, but my spot next to Asher was always open which wouldn't be such a good thing this time.
Still, I power walked to class, hoping to find an empty seat anywhere else. But when I arrived to class, there was just one spot. It was the table of two right up front and there was that same empty chair to Asher's left, I had no other choice. Asher and I caught each others eyes for a second when I walked in, but we both quickly looked away. By the time I sat down beside him the whole room was silent and he acted like he didn't even notice me.
Contrasting my sweatpants, he was wearing his nicest jeans and a button-down shirt. Not a hair was out of place. I wanted to shrivel up and die. I looked like the pathetic girl who loved a boy who didn't care. He looked so unaffected by it all and my cheeks were fire engine red.
I wanted to become invisible, for all of this to just be a cruel dream. The class was still uncomfortably silent and the teacher wasn't in the room yet. I stared ahead at the blank white board while I heard somebody whisper something in the back of the room. The only words I caught were "Taylor Swift".
More heat rose to my cheeks at the sound of my mom's name. I loved her so much, but I knew that my break up wouldn't be the talk of the school if I wasn't Taylor Swift's daughter. Suddenly I was angry, I no longer wanted to shrink into myself, but rather scream. Scream at anyone who would listen, but mostly the boy sitting next to me.
But I sat still and silent, staring a hole through the white board. I wasn't mad at Taylor for indirectly making this a bigger deal than it needed to be. I was mad at Asher. For everything. For everything he ever said about Taylor, my dad, me. For making me feel inferior. Like I didn't deserve him when in reality, he didn't deserve me.
I felt like I was about to burst with anger when I smelled Asher's cologne from right next to me. It was a sickeningly sweet scent. One that triggers all kinds of memories and brought hot tears to my eyes. But I wasn't going to let the tears fall, he wasn't going to get that satisfaction. I shifted my eyes up to the light and tried to think about anything else. I glanced at the clock, I'd only been in class for 60 seconds, I prayed for the next 50 minutes to be less painful than the first minute was.
God must have heard my prayers because right as the uncomfortable silence of the room almost got to be too much for me, our teacher walked in.
"How's everyone doing today?" There was a audible sigh of relief throughout the class. I have never paid so much attention in English class as I did that day, but as hard as I tried, I couldn't get him out of my head.
As soon as I got out of the school parking lot that afternoon I put the saddest mix-tape I could find into the CD player and belted every word of every song. It seemed like something someone in a TV drama would do, but surprisingly, it helped. I no longer wanted to die, kill a man, and bawl my eyes out all at the same time. But I still wasn't good.
I was surprised to not find Taylor in the kitchen when I walked into the apartment. I kicked my shoes off, put my bag down, and padded over to her bedroom door. I cracked it open and peeked in to find her napping in her bed. Coming into the room, I shut the door behind my and crawled into the bed next to her, finally letting myself relax.
"Hey Care." Taylor said with half open eyes, inhaling loudly. She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at me, brushing loose hairs out of my face. Her blue eyes studying my face made my bottom lip begin to tremble.
"Hey...." Taylor said, picking up on this. A sob escaped my lips and as soon as it did Taylor laid down and pulled me over to her, letting me snuggle into her chest. I cried into her shirt, hiccuping and trying to get a breath in between my sobs.
Taylor didn't say anything, she just let me cry. She ran her hand through my hair and kissed my forehead, not protesting even when my tears soaked her shirt. I cried and I cried until I had no tears left. I did my best to calm down and even my breathing while Taylor started rubbing my back. Once I wasn't such a mess Taylor looked down at me.
"It was that bad, huh?" She said, knitting her eyebrows and making pouty lips.
"Yeah." I said, another sob coming on, my shoulders shaking and all. Then the flood gates opened again.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I'm Sorry Care. I didn't mean to make you cry." Taylor tried, rubbing my upper back in faster circles. The cycle continued: me crying, Taylor trying to make it better, me crying, me crying, me crying....
My bawling fit lasted longer this time, I couldn't get myself to stop. I cried until my jaw was sore all while Taylor held me. I hated Asher for doing this to me and I hated myself for falling in love with him.
"Everything is going to be okay Caroline." Taylor said after a while. I looked up just in time to see her eyes filling with tears.
"Everything is going to be okay." She whispered again. And I didn't know if she was saying that for me or for her.
