i don't hate you

[05]

song for the letter:

wildest dreams // taylor swift

September 24

dear johnny,

today there was a pep rally and i didn't spot you anywhere; i feel like you don't miss me johnny. i feel like a fool. everything in your life seems great but i can't say that because i don't know like you don't know about mine.

there's promises you broke, if you didn't know. one: we will always be friends, no matter what. i'll try to write a promise in each letter.

when the pep rally ended, i saw dakota and he waved at me; the simple gesture made me smile. i don't know why johnny, but i don't think i will be able to face you. i just can't....shit. there's tears on the letter now. my friends says you're not worth my tears. should i move on?

johnny, you probably just know my name now. you don't know that i'm in orchestra, or i love music. you don't know that my favorite color is black or my favorite food is food. i am now a stranger to you and it hurts. we had great times, but i guess there's some friendships that aren't meant to last.

i'm writing this while i wait for my mom to pick me up. i see you're walking to the parking lot and you have a straight face. i'm trying to ignore the feeling you give me.

ugh! i fucking hate you johnny.

but...

i don't hate you.

sincerely, joy.