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dear ross,
nowadays, i would either cry or sleep. i can't stop crying, everything here reminds me of you now. even a small lemon made me think about how you loved the the color yellow. i don't want to get up, when i know that the more i stay awake, the more painful is it for me. i prefer staying asleep if i don't need to confront this cruel world.
your mom is worried about me, which is weird considering the fact that she hated me before you... she despised every single piece of my soul, but now she tries to get close to me, and it's scary. i know she wants something from me. raini and calum are worried too, but they think it's only a faze that will fade away soon.
...i miss you more and more everyday. i regret not telling you that i love you, and i would regret it my whole lifetime. i remember seeing the sad look in your eyes when i couldn't answer you. you know i love you, right?
