Fat Girl Thin

Chapter Six

I had no idea a flat stomach was supposed to be beautiful until I saw advice on how to achieve it.

It's been another two weeks. Painful two weeks. I don't speak to Logan anymore. Even when he tries I say I'm busy and rush off. He still smiles at me whenever he catches me looking at him in class but I feel now he's moved on. I smile back like everything is fine. Truth is, I miss him. I miss the way he was the only one who ever looked past my weight and saw me for me.

I'm laying flat on my back on my bed, resisting the urge to get up and grab a chocolate bar or a packet of sweets. The doorbell rings in my ears making my heart race suddenly and I jump from my spot and quietly edge my bedroom door open. Listening carefully I hear my aunt talking politely to whoever is at the door, letting them in.

"She's in her room." I hear my aunt say. Turning around on the spot I start to panic. Footsteps rush up the stairs and I hear a calm voice calling my name, knocking on all the doors upstairs. Opening my door to my washed out room the light from my window spreads out across the landing and I call him over looking down, "Hi Logan."

He's sat awkwardly on the edge of my bed when I trudge back upstairs with a coffee in my hands for him. When I walk through the door he looks up and smiles brightly, his lip ring shining against the light.

"You look different." he exclaims with a worried look, a worried look I seem to get from everyone these days. I look down on my body, my clothes now too baggy for me, but I'm still not there. Not yet.

I'm cutting back on everything. I'm controlling. Everyone keeps telling me I'm getting too thin but I don't believe it.

"We haven't been out in a while, we should go for lunch or coffee sometime. I miss talking to you Navaeh." He looks down my body and grabs my hand, holding it in his lap. I begin to shake. I can't go out with him. He'd expect me to eat. I only ever now have coffee for breakfast and tea for lunch and if I need more energy then two cups of water and maybe an apple. I still feel I'm staying the same size.

"Navaeh, look at me." I glance up meeting his eyes and he smiles, that smile that makes me fall more in love than ever. But it's also a smile as if he understands. He doesn't know anything. He would never understand.

"Let's go." I must have missed what he'd said as I have no idea where he is taking me until he is pulling me out of the house and into his car then five minutes later we're pulling up outside a coffee shop. I could hear my heart in my head remembering the last time we went out.

Walking inside the cafe, I order a tea. I sip only the smallest bit of it not wanting to add anymore weight on. I can feel Logan's eyes watching me. I lift my head to look at his face when he grabs my shoulders pulling me into a hug. Not knowing how to react I carefully lean my head in the curve of his shoulder feeling the warmth of his body. His arms wrap tighter around me and for once in my life I feel safe.