Find A Way

Day 3: Adrienne

"The Honda's fixed," my dad announced the next morning even though I was unaware that there was every anything wrong with it in the first place. He sat down to my left at the dining table, wiping his hands off on a mechanic's rag. "How are you, mija?" he asked, a glimmer of concern in his fading eyes.

I stared into my bowl of Frosted Flakes. "I'm fine," I insisted and shoveled another bite into my mouth. My breakfast was soggy from sitting too long; I had been at the dining table for a good hour already. Still, there wasn't any energy left in me to go on with my day. I called in sick to work for the first time since I started at the company a year and a half ago, and that was as far as I had gotten. I was The Ugly Duckling; lost.

Although dad didn't buy it, he didn't try to get a better answer out of me either. We sat in silence as I choked down the majority of my cereal and dumped the rest down the sink. "Any plans for today?" he finally tried before I could make a beeline to my room.

"I might go see Sam and Felicia and them, if they're not working, but that's all," I made up. I had no intentions of doing anything productive all day.

"Be safe," dad managed and I was gone.

Back in my room, Alaina's grocery list sat on top of my desk. I didn't know why I took it the other day; I just did. A comfort, perhaps. I sat down on the edge of my bed and gathered up all the energy I had just to go through my dresser to find something to wear. I ended up finding a pair of shorts and a t-shirt I didn't remember buying. As I was brushing out my hair and sloppily French-braiding it to the side, my mom peeked her head into the doorway. "Make your bed please," was all she said; no "how are you?" or anything along those lines, like dad did. Oddly enough, I was very grateful for that. I didn't want to talk about Alaina anymore.

"I will," I didn't move my eyes from the mirror on my wall. Behind me, I could see mom still standing just under the doorframe, but I didn't turn around to say anything else to her. Instead, I brushed on some lip gloss, did my eyeliner, and dug underneath the corner of my desk for my favorite pair of lace flats.

As I quickly made my bed, tucking in the stuffed teddy bear I got as an adoption gift from my parents, mom remained in the room. "¿Cómo estás?" she finally asked.

I sighed; I thought I had avoided this conversation. "Un poco cansada," the lie balanced on my tongue, but I couldn't lie to her, "I just want to find Alaina, mama."

She crossed the room with grace; that was the first thing I ever noticed about her, before she was even my mom and she was just a stranger in a CPS office. There was something about her that was delicate and light and beautiful. When she sat down on the corner of my bed and smoothed out the comforter, even her frown was graceful. "I will do everything in my power to bring her back and make you smile again, my Adrienne," she promised.

There was nothing I could say in response, so I just sat there, trying not to cry since I just did my makeup and mascara lines were ugly.

"Hey, don't be sad," mom reassured me, a soft hand on my cheek, "Your papi is going to go talk to the police himself. If they aren't looking for Alaina by tomorrow, we will look for her ourselves."

I choked back the feelings, "Yes mama."

She smiled and kissed my forehead. "Go, try to have a good day," she said.

In the car, I had the radio and the air conditioner both cranked up. Because of the unbearable heat, I went through the McDonalds drive-thru by my house for a large sweet tea. It took too much of my strength to remind myself that I didn't need to order a Coke for Alaina, too.