Cold Grey Light

Manly Bonding

POV Edward

"Come on, Edward. It's male bonding time. Big foam fingers, body painting, tail gating, and no women. Get excited!" Emmett scowled at me. I was sitting in an overstuffed chair in front of the TV, and from what I could see in Emmett's mind, I looked completely tortured.

"I heard that!" Rosalie growled from upstairs. Bella was being tortured in a completely different way. Any chance for Alice to play Barbie, was a chance for Emmett to insist that we watch a football game or go play basketball. Or anything that would be considered male bonding... except for hunting that is.

"Emmett, I am pretty sure I see no foam fingers or body paint-and no, I do not want to see any" I said quickly, reading his mind, "But football is not the way I want to spend my Sunday afternoon."

"And so really, you just want to be boring as usual and lie around in your room, listening to music with Bella?" Emmett rolled his eyes.

"No," I protested. I hadn't planned on lying around in my room with Bella, but Sunday afternoons were typically uninterrupted time for us to do whatever we want. We usually end up in my room for lack of better things to do in Forks.

"Just lighten up a little, Edward," Jasper rolled his eyes and suddenly I was under his influence, feeling a little more cheery. I looked at the screen, where the announcers were still discussing pre-game issues with both teams.

Then I noticed who was playing. The Chicago Bears and the Detroit Lions.

"Emmett. Is this some-ridiculous attempt at humor?" I asked, sitting forward, watching the TV screen a little more intently, "The Bears and the Lions. And I don't have to assume. You'll be cheering for the Bears."

"That's right. Maybe I should change." He looked down at his royal blue shirt, "The Lions are this color blue. Here-you need to wear this shirt." So quickly, I didn't try to follow his movements, Emmett was streaking bare-chested up the stairs, his own shirt on the floor in front of me. Seconds later, he rejoined us wearing a bright orange shirt and dark blue track pants.

"Come on, Edward. I thought you were faster than me. You know this will go a lot faster if you'll just cooperate. Bella is upstairs getting primped and painted up. You might as well just sit down here and relax." Emmett flopped onto the couch.

"And why is Jasper allowed to wear green?" I threw a mocking glance over at my blonde brother.

"Because-he prefers humans. And that means he's a Packers fan."

Neither Jasper, nor I, was amused.

I suddenly cursed Carlisle's work. The hospital had paged him in the middle of the morning, signaling his departure for at least twelve hours. At least with him here, he would have been just as martyred as me.

"Look," Emmett pointed at the screen when a cameraman panned a crowd shouting and jumping up and down. They were all in different states of dress, some completely painted orange and navy and others sporting large royal blue afro wigs. I wondered about the sanity of humans, sometimes. I am sure that I never acted that way as a human-not even as a child.

"Why should grown men and women bounce around like that?" I groused. Jasper had, apparently, released his hold on me. "In my day-even in the first twenty or so years after I was turned-ladies were quiet and well mannered. And men may have been a little rambunctious now and then, but nothing like that. It's a shame that so much energy is wasted on such a barbaric display. It's regression in its worst form."

"What other words of wisdom do you have for us today, Grampa Cullen?" Emmett teased me, sitting at my feet as if he was a child eager to be taught, "And let me just say-Bella is not a well behaved woman from the early 20th century. She tried to bite me last night."