Double Blade (Sword Art Online FanFic)

Chapter Nineteen: Univited

Heyo! Here's the next update, and it's on time! It's gonna be a long chapter! I dedicate this to ari_adashek although you haven't read this, I'm dedicating this to your for being such an awesome fellow yaoi lover who always has my back and I just love your comments! XD

WARNING:Feelz up ahead
----------------------------------------
Kira's POV

What?

He........

Valar doesn't want me at his.........

Wedding in February?

I reread the letter.

'Dearist Kira,

I love you but my hate for you is stronger and I'm abandoning you by agreeing to the marriage that was moved to Valentine's Day.I hope you understand because, I mean, you have Teito and Dina.I won't and don't miss you, to be honest, I wonder how our friendship lasted this long, being friends with a dull is boring and horrid, being teased when I was young is NOT fun.And just to let you know, I've already 'done it' with Carla and I plan on doing it with her till she's pregnant.And I'm doing it with her, NOT you, you're a lowlife swine (pig) who doesn't know her place.You are NOT invited to my wedding.Actually, unwanted.I don't care about you anymore.
Hated by,
Cross Valar'

By then, I was hysterically laughing and sobbing at the same time.

"V-Valar doesn't love me?! Ha! Sounds so familiar!"I shouted, crying.

Then, the more I repeated it in my head, my hysterical laughed turned into a flat out sobbing.

"Why?!"I sobbed, heaving to get breath.

I ripped the letter up and throwing it into the trash can.I was just sitting on my bed after that, holding my ears while tears poured out of my eyes.

'Why? Why? Why? Why?! Why?! WHY?!'I shouted in my head.'Everyone around me ends up hating me! What did I do to them, God?! What have I done to them to make them angry at me?! Please! Just tell me what I did! To Dina, to make her break her promise, to Teito, who has to take care of my waste of space that is I and who had to go through my pain as a science experiment, to Valar, who hates me after all the years of all the things we've been in together, and most importantly, to Nathan, and his mom, when I went over to their house the day there was an earthquake, were I could've not been there and his mother live and Nathan, you were prepared to embrace death, if I wasn't there, you would've gotten more air to breath.'I thought, slowly rocking myself back and forth while still holding my ears.

I got up and walked around my room, not knowing what to do with myself.

'Yes, that's right.

I'm just a waste of space.

A thing that need disciplined.

Someone who seems a burden on everyone she meets.

And most important,

I'm someone who has taken many lives.'

[Guys, I officially broken and started to cry writing that part, unless I'm getting soft. Did you guys cry?]

Kira, give into me.Do you see the sate you're in? Just cave in and take your barriers down for a while and you'll feel better.Depression whispered.