Pushing my black rimmed glasses back as I stand at the front of the auditorium, the projector revealing pictures of abused kids, I feel the eyes of the audience on me once again. It always took me a couple of minutes to put my self at ease when giving speeches but I am used to it by now and the audience is more than welcoming.
"...so no one can simply ignore the consequences bullying entails and how one's soul and mind can be deeply affected. As mentioned before the physical, verbal and emotional abuse that some of these teenagers had to endure on a daily basis has led to some of them taking their own lives..." I continue noticing some of my listeners wiping a tear as images of helpless kids are presented before them. It is very common to witness people being affected by my speeches. That is the whole point after all, to raise awareness, to help people understand, to make things change and at times I know that I have succeeded and that overjoys me, truly elevates me.
Being a psychology professor in one of the best universities in the UK has enabled me to take action in some projects that are close to heart. The anti-bullying campaign I am so privileged to head in the European Committee has given me the opportunity to travel around the world and cooperate with some very influential people like for example presidents and prime ministers of the European Union and have addressed a variety of audiences from high school students to parliaments and university professors. I find refuge in my work. I enjoy it. I find it rewarding to be able to go to bed at night and feel that maybe just maybe...I have made the world a little bit better.
Teaching is also my passion. My work at the university gives me great pleasure and being close to my students helps me feel young in a way. I am often amazed by their way of thinking, the way they perceive things, sometimes innocently with a certain naivety and sometimes over-analyzing. Young people keep you on your toes and I like that...I have always liked to leave a stigma...call it ego, call it arrogance...I call it "I refuse to let others dictate what I am all about".
My speech finishes and the people facing me are standing one by one giving me a round of applause. I smile at them and gesture for them to sit down. I have done nothing but simply inform them, I don't deserve this reaction although it would be a lie to say that I don't feel a bit pleased. Numerous of them approach me as my loyal assistant slowly gathers the equipment. I talk to each one of them shaking hands, smiling, reassuring.
"Ashley..."Monet calls for me as I am still in the middle of a discussion about cyber bullying with the president of the university student body.
"There are some emails that you need to reply to...some read urgent" she informs me.
"Thank you Monet, I will look at them as soon as I finish from here"
******
Exhausted and drained I walk into my office closing the door behind me almost diving into the comfortable leather armchair. I dial the number of the most beautiful, intelligent, cheeky person in the world.
"Anziee" I shout in the phone as soon as she answers.
"It's Anzette mom, you know I hate it when you call me that" she pauses and I can't stop grinning like a fool at her tone. It is as if I can see her raising one eye-brow all sassy.
"Baby what have you been up to?" I ask knowing that the answer is always the same at this hour.
"I am studying mum..." she huffs.
"There is some noise in the background honey..." I tease her.
"It's not noise...It's music mum" she doesn't even bother with me.
"OK, OK...what do you want me to bring for dinner honey?"
"Em...pizza?" she asks rather than answers my question and I agree knowing that my thirteen year-old daughter would never ask for anything healthy unless she is forced to it either by me or her grandmother. Her dad would sit next to her for hours trying to feed her fruit that he would cut into heart shapes and trick her into eating them but then again she was so young, nothing could trick her now.
I shake the thought of my late husband from my head as I have caught myself rubbing my wedding ring that hangs from my golden chain around my neck ever since the day I lost him four years ago and without even checking my phone for the number I call Andy's pizza from the office. I am home forty-five minutes later wearing my warm comfortable pyjamas in front of the telly eating greasy pizza that I will bust my ass off at the gym for the next day, watching Awkward from MTV.
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Fanfiction"Love is not blind, it simply enables one to see what others fail to see" JOHNNY DEPP
