Newtmas/Dylmas One-Shots

Thank you, Tommy.

"Everyone has a right to be insane" ~ Anonym

Dear Tommy,

Do you remember me? If you don't, don't worry about it. I wouldn't remember someone so unimportant like me, either. Oh bloody hell I wouldn't even bother to make a friendship with someone like me. But... You did.
And I told you hundreds of times that you shouldn't, everyone at school would be laughing at you, cause you care about some faggot-freak, that's gay and has a huge crush on you, but you didn't know about it, cause you shouldn't know about it, but now you know about it and I feel that familiar fear of rejection and you know about that fear so why did...Why did you kissed me?

On airport.
You kissed me and turned around like nothing happened. But a lot things happened.
My stomach had so called butterflies exploding inside, my mind could only focus on your amazingly soft lips touching mine, on your big and cold hands holding my cheeks so tightly that gave me a feeling you're afraid of losing me. But the only thing that was lost... was my mind.
Because every inch of my body was feeling incredible good in your arms. Like our bodies were made for each other. Every single thought in my brain was telling me to kiss your perfect human being back. So I did. It felt so wrong. It felt so right. I wasn't thinking. I was just feeling.
In that moment I had everything I ever wanted. You. But then you pulled away, Tommy.
Not so nice slap. It hurt. But when you didn't even say a word, just turn around and walked away.

It hurt the most. Watching you leaving me completely alone in this world. With no parents, no friends. You just fucking left me with strong feeling of love and yearning. It's killing me.
So a year had past. And still all I can think about is you. How sad is that.
You could have save me from the dark surrounding my heart and soul.
From the deepest parts of my brain. Actually you did. I felt so alive when I was with you.
That two years of our friendship was the best time in my depressed little life. But now I am dead again.

When you are not beside me I feel like part of me is gone. It's yelling to look for you and
make you mine. But I can't. I am the hostage of my social anxiety. And my master brought me here.
To my bathroom. To my razors. I'm in hell, Tommy. Cuz, I'm in the world without you.
In the world you don't love me. So why would I live in this hell, Tommy? I can't. So yes.
This is so called goodbye.

So if you think about it, I never thanked you. So thank you for standing up for me in school.
Thank you for every eye-contact made with me so I could see your beautiful brown eyes.
Thank you for every hug you gave me so I could feel your strong and warm arms around me.
Thank you for giving me a reason to wake up every day. Thank you for every day, every hour,
every minute, every second you spend with me. Thank you for being the best friend in the world. Thank you that you exist so I could love you. I finally admit it. I love you. With all of my heart, Tommy. Thank you for being the best thing that ever happened to me. I have just one request.

Don't blame yourself for my death. It was my choice. My redemption.

Love, Newt.

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Hi Guys! U like it? Please, let me know if you like it,
cause I need to know If I should keep writing..
It would be nice have some comments to motivate me, ya know?
Thanks to my bff (Slightly_Moony) She's also a writer and she create a great Newtmas story,
I recommend you this, she is very talented.
So I hope you liked it and leave a sign you've read it. Rude Girl, xoxo.