Death is Only the Beginning: A Guide to Vampirism

Four: Paper Cuts

The most fragile

Dainty

Insignificant

Innocent thing

Can lead to your downfall.

A paper cut

Can lead to your death.

"Ouch!"

Mmmmm.... What is that smell?

Oh wow!

I sit up straight in my seat in shock. My senses are just reeling, and I think it may have short circuited my brain. I mean, I can't really describe it! It's just too delicious! Absolutely divine! My stomach growls ferociously and I actually start drooling! DROOLING! When was the last time that happened? Not since I died, that's for sure. I was beginning to think that I couldn't even still produce saliva. Not that I have tried spitting or anything.

I feel a little light-headed. MMMMMmmmmm - it smells so good! I can't focus on anything else but the smell and my need. For the first time in my life (and unlife), I finally understand the meaning of the word 'ravenous'.

"I'm bleeding!"

It takes me a few moments to register what the voice said.

Blood?

BLOOD???

That delicious smell... is...blood?

Oh God.

Please let me be wrong. Please please please please. Please don't let me be a monster.

Ohhhh man, my stomach is killing me, cramping up and demanding to be fed! I've never craved anything like this before. I've never NEEDED anything like this before! The clawing feeling in my belly physically hurts! I'm sickened by how much it wants that... that stuff.

Part of me (the vast majority of me, if truth be told) wants to just knock her down and suck out every last drop of blood like she's a slice of orange.

Ew! Gross! Gross gross gross! I can't believe I even THOUGHT that! I'm really losing it now. Okay girl, breathe. Breathe. No! Ack! Hold my breath! Hold it! One more whiff and I'll be on her like a starving wolverine!

"Oh Tiff," the poor dumb victim smiles at me, completely misunderstanding the horror on my face. "It's just a little blood. See?" She offers her finger up for viewing before I begin noshing. "No big deal."

My hands begin to tremble as I make an effort to not take her up on her obvious offer to be my dinner. My knuckles are white as I hold on to the bleachers with all my strength. My eyes close tightly, and I cringe as her voice is gently telling me something. I can't understand her words through the roaring in my head. When she touches my shoulder, I nearly cry out.

I don't want this.

Correction: I don't WANT to want this. I want it so badly it terrifies me.

I have to get away from her.

A loud thump startles me into opening my eyes. My control is at its limit. I'm a monster....

A worried, self-proclaimed werewolf (I will admit to momentarily forgetting his name... everyone's name to be honest) was in a crouching position (obviously jumped from one of the upper bleachers) and had placed himself solidly between us. I don't even notice how good he looks in his faded jeans as he lands in front of me in a crouch. Okay, I noticed, but only barely. I'm hungry not dead... oh wait... Yes I am. Gangly is no longer a word I'd use to describe him. If I wasn't thiiiiiis close to murdering my classmates I probably would have a lot more descriptive words.

"It's okay," he says in a low soothing tone, and I hope that high pitched whine didn't come from me.

I'm not sure if he's talking to her or me. But I know one thing for sure. It is most definitely not okay. It will never be 'okay' again. Tears fill my eyes as I fight my instincts that are screaming at me to feed. He is close enough that I grab on to the back of his shirt with trembling fingers and hold on, hoping and praying that I'm able to keep myself from attacking my friend. At least... I think she's my friend. I've sat by her for nearly a week, and right now, I can't even remember her name!

It's the scariest feeling. Like craving chocolate, but only about a million times stronger. It isn't just a want. It's a need. A wild and uncontrollable, sick need. My gums ache and my hands cramp into claws. I can swear that I'm growling. Do vampires growl?

Oh wait, that isn't me.

The growl is coming from werewolf boy. He's still standing between us, looking back and forth from me to Emily Ann (thank heavens I'm finally able to remember her name) and back again. He looks nervous and worried. Emily Ann just looks bewildered (adorably bewildered dang her), not knowing that her classmate is keeping her from becoming my very first live meal.

In front of the entire class.

"Calm down," he croons gently, "Everything is going to be fine. Just relax. Come on now, take a deep breath."

Since I'm the one practically hyperventilating, it's safe to assume that he's talking to me and not her. Luckily, he hasn't tried to pry my fingers off of his shirt. Likely if he tried, I'd be sailing right by him and attacking poor Emily Ann. He shouldn't be soothing and comforting me. He should be trying to kill me, or contain me or something. What if I go into some sort of feeding frenzy and take out every single one of my classmates?

It's possible! I've read the books! I've seen the movies!

Soon, I'll pounce on people and start chomping on them. Tearing out their throats even! And the rest would probably gather up a posse and hunt me down to stake me or set me on fire or something. And I'd deserve it. I stand up on trembling legs and let go of his shirt. Slowly I back up, stepping away from the temptation. Away from Emily Ann and her little droplet of blood.

I'm not normal.

I'm a monster.

"I can't... I can't stay here," I whisper hoarsely. "I can't be here." I don't want to kill anyone. And I just know that I'm going to end up hurting someoooonneeeeaaAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

My thoughts end in a very loud scream as I suddenly lose my footing.

"Someone catch her!"

Slow human reflexes, I think to myself as I slip on the slick metal and fall backwards off the bleachers. Werewolf boy lunges for me, but he isn't quite fast enough. Later, when I'm lying in the nurse's office while they try to determine if I have a concussion or any broken bones, I'll regret choosing the top bench to sit on.

Guess the books lied about those quick vampire reflexes, too.

You just can't trust fiction these days...