Almost, being the key word

Ch.1

Its 4:30 am when i hear my alarm going off. Like every other day, i struggle to get out of bed.

Eventually i get up and start making coffee. I'm the only one up, both my parents are still asleep. I throw on my running shoes and quickly grab my phone and then im off. I wake up ever morning at 4:30 and go running, usually about 2 miles.

As i am running, i let my mind wander. Today is Wednesday, i have soccer after school and then dance after that. Me and my boyfriend had split up this past week, i ended things because even though i really liked him, none of my friends did. Im not quite sure yet how i feel about having done this. im a sophmore in high school. He is a senior this year. We hadent been together long, about 4 months. In those months he had became my best friend. But i needed some one who was stable. he wasent, since he was 18 and im 16, techinally our relationship was illeagel and more than that he was involved in drugs, selling them and doing them. He had just recently gotten out of jail for starting a fight and injuring a person. i knew that he had anger problems but i didnt care. But after lots of debating and arguring with my friends and family and being with him, i decided that it wasent even worth it to stay with him. because me and him might have had a good relationship, but it was ruining mine with everyone else. We still see each other daily, we have to because we are neighbors. word of advice, dont date your neighbors. even though we go to different schools we had been making things work. He is the one that got me started on waking up early and going running, we would always go together. Now its lonely and dark. I assume now he goes to the gym or goes and runs on the beach, because he isnt home. I dont have a date to homecoming, because obvisally i had been planning to go with Logan, but not anymore. i guess i will just go with friends. My dress is really pretty, its tight and black. I had picked it out at the mall, with logan a few weeks ago. He liked it.

Finally i am back home. I see that Logan is now home also, his car is back. i go inside and pour my self a cup of coffee and then take a shower. When i get out i dry my hair and try to find some clothes to wear. Its october but its still pretty hot out. I decied on jeans and a white t-shirt with a jacket from my dance stuido. me and logan went to different schools, our schools started at different times, mine started at 7:10 and was about 20 minutes away from my house. Logans school starts at 8:30 and he lives about 5 minutes away. He would always drive me to school so i didnt have to take the bus, we would usually stop and get coffee or breakfest some where, now i either take the bus or my friend ellie drives me.

Adjusting to life without Logan by my side was diffiently a challenge for me. He was only my second boyfriend ever, Before him had been Luke. i was with Luke when i was a freshman and he was a junior, so him an logan are in the same grade. I tend to date older people. Luke had cheated on me with another girl, Olivia, and what bothered me about that was she was my age to, we both have longish hazelnut colored hair and blue eyes. In my eyes the only difference was she was a bit skinner than me. Most people say that isnt true but im not sure. Logan was the first person who had made me truly happy since luke. and now he is gone, and i have to say i am pretty upset.

Today Ellie is taking me to school, so i stand out in my drive way at about 6:30 and wait for her to come. Not long later she shows up "Hi friend" she says as i open the car door

"Good morning" I say back

"So i was thinking, do you want to stop at starbucks?" she asks.

"What kind of question is this? Of corse i want to go!" i say back. Ellie was my main influence, for my decsiion about leaving loagn, she can not stand him, shes a senior also.

"How are you holding up?"

"Im fine." i say back, trying to make my self sound believeable.

"Listen, i know your upset now, but believe me it will get easier, you can do so much better."

i force a smile and say "I know i can, but i dont want too."

Almost the rest of the ride is silent, we stop at starbucks and i get what i always do, a chai tea latte.

We finally get to school, i go to my locker and see luke and his new girlfriend, Jamie. Me and him make eye contact and then both quickly look away. we havent talked in months. I get to 1st period, i have this class with my friend Hailey, so i always look forward to it.

The day slowly passes. Until finally the final bell rings and i get to go to soccer.

I have Soccer with Hailey and Anna. two of my best friends. Practice is brutal. we run and do drills and then run some more, for 2 hours until its finally over.

Usually Logan would pick me up from practice, but i just grab a ride from anna.

when i get home i take a quick shower to wash the sweat off, its about 6 and i have dance at 6:15 so i dress for that an then have my dad take me.

I do Ballet, lyrical and then another ballet class, but this one im on pointe. Even though its only october we are already learning our dances for our christmas proformance. We preform at the tree lighting every year, there is always thousands of people and sometimes its even televised. This dosent bother me, i can preform it like no one is watching. But please dont ever ask me to speak in front of my class.

Once class is over at 8:30. I go home and walk my dog, while i do this i check my snapchat and instagram. i decied to look at logans instagram page, i hadent since we had broken up so i wanted to see what he changed his bio to, since it used to be my name.

Expecting it to say some thing like "senior" or "go titans" i dont think twice about the possibilty that there could be another girls name in his bio already. i wait for it to load and when i see what i says i literally drop my phone, with little red heart emojis around it, it says Olivia Eden. the girl that luke cheated on me with, was the name is logans bio. and we havent even been seperated for a full 2 weeks.

Immedently i start crying. i sit down on the ground underneath a tree and cry. My phone screen now shattered a few feet away.

in a spur of the moment decision i decied to text logan, -Hey, saw ur bio, whend that happen?-.

seconds later i get a response -Hey, nice to hear from you, um a few days ago y?-

-I dont understand y u would date her. You know everything she put me thourgh, i thought you didnt like her either?-

-I know you dont like her but shes pretty nice once you get to know her-

-we havent even been apart for 2 weeks, glad to know you where able to move on so fast-

-you ended things with me! remember?-

-of corse i do, but i still like you, a lot. and i just dont get how you could ever date her-

-Listen im sorry you dont like her, but shes my girlfriend, so im going to be defending her right now, not you. and i dont want to say anything to you that might hurt you, so maybe we should just stop now?-

-its too late, you already hurt me. Probaly worse then luke.-

an after i send that, i turn my phone off.