If You Want

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Hey guys, so I just want to say thanks for reading, and also please please please I hope you enjoy this. This is my first wattpad book, and I always find it really hard to start a story. Like...I wish you could just jump into the middle of a story without having to explain characters or anything. I just want to share a story without having to set it up! But, alas it is not so. Anyway, I promise it'll get better!

xoxo

T.

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I looked down at him, chocolate eyes glazed with want, his brown hair in a sexy mess. Seeing him like that, with me, had been all I wanted for the past three years, and I couldn't let it happen. 

"Dex, I can't do this," I said reluctantly while climbing off of his lap, and pulling my shirt back on

Internally I knew I had just ruined everything, and everything had been on the line of uncertainty as it was. We had spent the last few months sneaking around our friends, stealing kisses in the halls, and making out during our lunch hours. Honestly it was a terrible idea. We both knew that if we started hooking up at all, it would ruin the dynamic of the close group of friends that we shared. Personally, I didn't care, but I knew it would end terribly. 


That's the sad part of wanting someone who doesn't want you as much as you want them. You go into it knowing it's going to be a train wreck, but you do it anyway because you think you might have a chance of beating the universe at it's own game. I couldn't really put any blame on him either! Well, I could, but not really. It's one thing to be led on, and told all the things you want to hear, but it's another to ignore when you're being told things you didn't want to hear. Especially when what you don't want to hear includes him complaining about how messed up his ex was.


"What do you mean, Cassie?" Dex is obviously frustrated, in an awkward way. He knows exactly why I can't go any farther with him.


"I mean I can't. Dex, you know if we had sex, it would mean a lot more to me than it would to you."


"Oh."


Really, Dex? That's it? OH?


Honestly for someone capable of the most complex, profound thought, he could also be completely obtuse. With a heavy sigh he collected himself, and checked his phone. I wasn't quite sure what to say to "oh". What could I say? I had already said enough by putting the breaks on what had been happening, and now the situation was already going from amazing to extremely uncomfortable.


"I have to go back to the school..." he said, trailing off at the end. I could tell he was basically searching for a way out of the awkward situation. I couldn't blame him. It really had only direction to go from there: down.


"I'm not going back. I think I'm missing my last class." I picked up my phone, not actually expecting any notifications from anyone trying to get ahold of me. I was mostly trying to have something to do with my hands so we weren't just sitting there looking at each other. I shoved my phone in my pocket, and threw my thick, brown hair into a ponytail on the top of my head. It had been curled, but as per usual, by mid day I couldn't stand it being curled. As I looked over at Dex sitting at the foot of my bed, I couldn't help but be kind of mad at the tall, quietly handsome person that I had known since kindergarten. 

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