Lovesick.

XX. Madly

ARIANA'S POV

I follow Professor Mormon to his office, practically shaking. I should've just made a run for it when I still had the chance. Now, here I am perched in one of his cushioned chairs, my knees bouncing frantically as a way of distracting myself as he shuts the door behind us.

He takes a seat behind his desk, his eyes seeming to bore into my soul. I play with my fingers in my lap, hoping that he'll change his mind and let me leave. Of course he doesn't, and clears his throat, breaking the silence.

"You see the staff here believe that the students are adults and should be able to take care of their problems as such. In other words, a student's problem is exactly that; a student's problem." He explains, and I start wishing he was more like the rest of the staff right now. "But, I am not blind. And I refuse to go on acting like I am."

"It's really not even a problem." I attempt to say, but he won't hear it.

"When did this start?" He questions.

"Three weeks after Harry transferred here." I admit, succumbing to his stubbornness over this bullying. Only person I know of who is more stubborn is the bully himself.

Mormon sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and his thumb. "And you're just now saying something?"

Technically, I wouldn't be saying anything at all if I wasn't backed into a corner here. I reply though I keep it in my head instead of voicing it.

I shrug. "It doesn't even bother me."

"And yet, I've had to send you to detention for having an outburst in my class over him." Professor retorts.

"I-I have it under control." I say, although I think I'm more trying to reassure myself than him.

"Yeah, of course. They always have it under control. Until they don't." He says, standing up and leaning over the desk to look over me as my head hangs low. "Why didn't you say something?"

I sigh. How do I even begin to explain my feelings? "Just because he doesn't like me......" I trail off, and he gestures for me to continue. "Doesn't mean the feeling's mutual....."

With that, he falls back into his seat, letting out an exasperated sigh. He scoffs, "Do you think this is some type of sick joke or something?" He thinks I'm not being serious.

"No. I have feelings for him." I finally say it out loud.

He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture I'm used to seeing from a frustrated Harry. "I don't understand how he could stop bullying you long enough for you to develop feelings for him. The only time I saw was when you were dating, and that didn't last very long." Wow, he did his research. Not sure if I should be impressed or creeped out.

"I've liked him for a while now, when we were dating, the infatuation turned into something a bit more solid and a hell of a lot harder to get rid of." I admit. I'm an open book right now. Except for the few chapters that are missing, torn out page by page until there's no trace of their existence. I just hope to keep it that way, and that those chapters of my life stay gone.

"So I take it you aren't going to report him for harassment then....." He speaks after a moment, but it's more of a statement than a question.

"No! I-I-- He just needs some time to reevaluate everything, and just think. He just not thinking. He doesn't need to be reported." I defend, but I don't know why I even try or what I think I'm gonna get out of this except more pain.

"I don't know what you're hoping to achieve out of this, but I highly doubt it's gonna be him loving you." Mr. Mormon informs me. Ouch. I used to love how honest he was, but I guess everyone loves how honest you are until you say something they don't like. Maybe it's not so much that I don't like what he's saying. But more I don't want to believe what he's saying.