Please make suggestions, i'm a bad writer but i still love writing! please help me out! thanks :) to be continued.
The ash bound ground grumbled at my feet as I trekked the doons. The ash hollered at my rubber soles, and they hissed in response, melting its way to the steel implanted between my foot and the ground, it clanked. I had thoughts primarily on the past before the world changed into what it was now. The future did not matter, and living had no purpose. Walking and living was my drained soul's only way of releasing itself, and so, it wandering mindlessly, stripped down to only one instinct, survival. English became unnecessary years after it happened, anyone you saw either was hunting you down for your gas or was a scout on the outskirts of their own makeshift civilization, protecting their own. God had abandoned most, and only helped the needy who were healthy enough to move on. I viewed it as a dead flower that turns into rich soil for the new, and now I'm the only one in my family that's still alive, but barely. My curse is to live on or to simply walk on, walking on the soil of the dead. Death always toyed and tinkered with anyone left, moving this way and that, always a fight over gas, water or blood itself. And before I knew it, god had placed me in a particular spot, one of which I could not escape. The large plumes of smoke in the distance signaled an enemy tribe was hot on my tail, and god let it be one of the most dastardly too. A war cry, then many more became very surreal. I kissed the side of my car and patted her gently, I silently told her that everything would be alright. The engine started smoothly and it hollered its own war cry, challenging both the living and the dead. We started off in the direction of west, the direction where the living and the dead both feared, a place where anything can get lost, or abandoned - if they hadn't been already. I was hoping the apocalyptic hell raising sand storms would help me lose them, and maybe myself as well. After several moments, I realized just how close they really were, and I froze in my seat, luckily the winds were also picking up. My eyes had burned for so long in the wasteland that sounds where all I could depend on, and again, god had told me directly that I will always have something coming for me. And I deserved it a hundred times over, living was a curse in itself but death was the easy way out, and god challenged my broken will. The cars sped ahead and everything slowed, I hated not the act of fear, but the lack of help it always served me, it was always my adrenaline boost, but now there was only a dark pit that took place. A harpoon shot from one car to the next and massive weights were dropped off the back of their cars, halting them. The line connecting the cars stretched and the two cars slowed to a stop on either side of me, I knew I had no hope in slowing faster than them to turn around, the car rubbed against the massive steel line. Suddenly air sped past me, the world was upside down, my heart had almost stopped just like my baby's, it whined and glared at me. Moments after the tumble, my baby made its last stand, it betrayed me and protected me from the fall, I lay lifeless as they drag me, they were hollering about the storm ahead. The brilliant blues and yellows of the sky were in a chaotic battle over power and glimmered beautifully. It reminded me of her, and my only ounce of humanity rung aloud. She was my daughter, a very lovely one, she was incredibly smart and quick. But the sky's changed one day, and so did she. The loving and good times faded into stains on a white handkerchief made of the fabric of life itself and was burned by the act of man against nature. Most prayed for security, and it was selfish, we never deserved it. God found a way to rip from under them the safety they felt they deserved. People died, and most of the world too, and my daughter Alicen died along with it. My fate was determined by the actions I took, and I would never have the strength to prove my worth. Alicen was placed in a particular situation much like mine, but she was different. The sand to me was the death and grief around her. The car I loved so was the passion she felt, but for whom I never understood. My humanity being stripped away was what happened exactly to Alicen the moment her mother died from reasons I never had the chance to react too. And suddenly, just like me, we were dragged, invisible reapers ripped our souls away while the world collapsed in on itself, and I'll never forget what happened the day i, and Alicen died together. We were both aligned against the wall of a building, one we had been blindfolded and brought to. The government offered peace and safety as long as we listened, and they never betrayed us. They walked down the line and slit each person's throat, and in that, was the freedom people sought, from life itself. Not everyone took it the same way and got up to run, being shot as soon as they did, everyone silenced. I prayed to god that Alicen would be saved from this "Freedom", and I told god I would be selfish only for her, that my life did not matter in comparison to her's. And at that moment, god cursed me, with life. The walls rang and grumbled and a tank shot came barreling through the wall, It leaned and tumbled. I swung Alicen to an opening and found myself being buried by rubble.
Alicen and I were never close, although I wish we had been. She strongly admired her mother and saw through the lie's her mother said to protect her. I was a man that lived a simple life and only found myself in Alicen's life when her mother stumbled into me. Drunk and confused, I took her to a hotel and cared for her. She offered lust and money as a reward but I shot down anything she brought to me, although I was never completely honest or a good man, I had my own rights and wrongs, one that was not admired by god but swept humanity off their feet. My morals held me straight, or at least as straight as I could be, and I did what I could for Alicen's mother without being ignorant or bias. Days after finding her, I let her go, and she came running back. This was the first time I had ever experienced someone so dependent on another, living off of the others being. The lottery had placed itself in my hands and along with it, came wealth, but I gave it up to Alicen's mother. I left the day I gave it to her, and she searched for me, but I was never to be found. She had my number and told me of the wonderful things she did - and the horrible ones she committed. Out of self-indulgent, she got pregnant, spent money on this and that, boyfriend after boyfriend, and soon... it all left. Her false security was all she could salvage, and in that, came Alicen. I returned with my feet on the ground and my morals still not perfect, and yet that still was not good enough for little Alicen, I was never good enough, and never had a right relationship with her. But now she was out of the rubble, and I was drowning in it, my lungs pressed and contorted unevenly. God swore to me I was cursed, and it was true, I lived too, walked out unharmed. Alicen, on the other hand, was stuck between a rock and a hard place. The rebels men wanted her, as did the government. I had only a few moments to make my life matter.
