No we are not talking of the mutations, that so frequently occurs in out bodies, causing tumours and whatnot. No Cancer is Latin, or Greek, or Hebrew, or Norwegian, or something. What I DO know is, that it means Crab, somehow. Now do nought be frightened, this does not mean that small crabs are mutating out of your cells. That is, urgh you know what? Never mind, science is not my strong side anyway. Crabs are delicious OK? I know that much, especially, with a bit of salt and paprika, oh and butter sauce to! Or stewed in a lovely concussion of white wine, various greens, some tomato, and once more, good old fashioned butter.
A crab tends to be a person, that is prepared for anything. Hardened by the elements, ready to do whatever is necessary. It feeds on social funds, and some might call it parasitic to some extend. But don't be discouraged! Your shell is a protection, there is no need to go out and be social. Just wash it now and then, no one likes a dirty stinking shell.
Pisces tend to be aggressive towards Cancer, because that Pisces need funds from their state or country, and so this aquatic battle of the stars started long ago, when the Pisces was formed. Cancer already existed, but never were able to emerge from the depth of the water, and Pisces quickly dominated the stars. The clever Cancer chose to stay hidden. But one day Pisces found out, that he was not the only aquatic star sign (not including Aquarius)
And so, there was only one way to settle this! With rapping of course! Sadly, as none of the two enemies had vocal cords, it became a really lame rap battle, and there was no victor. Instead, their subjects (This is what Zodiacists, say when referring to people born under a star sign) must battle in their stead.
So, a horrorscope on a Cancer zodiac
"Cancer: Be vigilant! Bee strong! And most importantly. Don't die. Beware of Pisces, they tend to be aggressive towards you, as they feel they are the only ones eligible for social funds. Fight on! Your money are secured!"
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