Zodiac 202 (A how-to Zodiac)

Aquarius

Aquarius. Possibly the weirdest star sign ever. I mean, honestly, a guy carrying water? Why not fight a bull, or at least carry a sword? I mean, as a water bearer you are lower than a squire. And where is he carrying said water? I hope it's to the kitchen. I pity him if it's to the toilet. I'd rather boil some pasta, than end up having to wash a clogged toilet. Bly me.

The water bearer is usually a slave, or more likely a person with manual labour. Usually the lowest of rank in a company owned by a Capricorn, he is most likely the guy serving you a cheeseburger at a MCapitalist or Burger Emperor. Or if it's an unusual successful Aquarius, he or she might be working as an office monkey. But that is quite a rare happening, but do not be discouraged, if this is you, young Aquarius. You do a great service to the rest of us. I certainly wouldn't want to work where you do.

Now, let's see how a Zodiacist might write down the flow of Zodiac in their body.

"Aquarius: You will get a job. Then a new one. And another. You will strive for the big, but don't worry, even if when your dreams does not come true. After all you can still eat. Ish."

When you write a horoscope for the Aquarius remember to not be too pessimistic. But never write anything that is not true! After all you must not misuse your powers! With great powers, come great lunches! And also some responsibilities.