The Story Behind The Pictures

{1}

I have to pass, I have to pass , I have to pass . I thought to myself staring at my reflection. Today I was meeting with a new client named Riley Bergendeen. His name sounded pretentious at the sound. But he wanted me to take his
photo for a forum he liked. He said he'd seen some of my work and personally wanted me. I  wrangled on my binder. Fortunately I had been born with moderate sized breasts, so I could hide them easily. But my facial structure seemed feminine which I hated. Of course I hated everything but that more than anything.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. Probably Riley. We had shared phone numbers over Deviant-art. Where I had posted a majority of my photography.
Riley: Hey, you up to have lunch after the photo shoot ? My treat.
I looked at my phone. A complete stranger wanted to have lunch with me. I'm twenty-one but still am not adapted to the formal-ness of adulthood.
Me: sure thing, meet you at the shoot.
I responded nervously. He knew me as Daryl. A confident photographer who took photos of just about anything for anybody, but in real life I was an socially anxious nerd who spent all day on Tumblr and Deviant-art. Seeing the newest art people posted. Silently judging my own at the same time.I put on fresh clothes that looked passable. 'I really hope he uses the right pronouns' I thought nervously. I had about thirty minutes before I had to be there, thank god I lived in Little Elm not to far off from The colony. I grabbed my camera bag, phone, wallet, and keys from off my beat up desk and headed out of my cozy apartment to once again face the outside world. Most photographers would liked the concept of the outside world. But I was stuck inside my own world in that apartment. I locked up, the headed down to my small bug that I had been given to at age eighteen by my grandmother who saw no use for it anymore, since she had to throw in the towel of adventures. Grandma was a crazy lady. Going on all sorts of photograph adventures herself (like skydiving and learning art in Paris ...) after her divorce with grandpa. She was a free spirit I guess. I opened the car up, immediately turned on the air conditioner.

Living in Texas was a constant struggle. With the never ending heat that is, and the religious bigots. Though mom and dad made sure I was never teased for being both transgender and gay. Though it caused a lot of confusion for most, especially the church people we saw. I love mom and dad. They weren't like a majority of this crazy state. We were originally from Michigan. A small town. But now we lived in a booming city. The difference growing up spooked me. Since I'm not that much of a social person.
~
As I headed down the street and into the South Colony I turned the music up holding the steering wheel tightly that my knuckles turned white and my palms were sticky, to say I was nervous was an understatement. I turned down the lane onto a small street where the lake was. I had done a few shots here. So I had grown familiar to the path. I parked behind a white suv. And made my way out with the equipment. A boy, obviously cis male was laying in the grass. From the way he looked I would guess it was Riley. Panic struck me because I was nervous to interrupt his serenity of the nice afternoon. But he opened his eyes. He jumped up smiled and took my hand and shook it lightly. " Your Daryl right?" He looked at me with a huge smile. "Yeah" I stated Lucky for me I have been on T for almost a year now making my voice a little bit deeper. But somehow I still worried about it. "You look different from the way I imagined you." He laughed. I looked at my shoes a little bit defeated. What the hell did that mean... " oh sorry. I meant like your name I imagined like Daryl Dixon. In a funny way. " okay what the hell did that mean. I laughed Anyways. "I'm a big fan of The Walking Dead, I'm sorry if that came off rude. You look fine dude" he laughed casually. I sighed mentally. ' I pass to him' " anyways I was thinking we could take pictures by the bridge? And maybe the bench?" He asked like if I were in control of this shoot. " Sure thing" I said. We made our way over to the bridge first. I took out my camera and set it to the right thing. He wasn't the hottest guy I met but he posed naturally. I liked the way he looked, relaxed in his own skin. Not like me at all. "Do I look weird?" He asked. I had completely forgotten to snap the third photo. "N-no . Sorry I lost track you look fine" I said. He laughed and I snapped the shot.
~
After the shoot, we headed to subway. " Sorry it's not fancy" he said a little defeated. "What no way I have been living off of ramen noodles for awhile." I said with a new sense of confidence. We had made jokes and talked a little throughout the shoot. He laughed at that. And he stood in line. Internally I had been freaking out. I hated ordering things. I sucked it up anyways and a cheery eyed woman asked me what I wanted. " BMT on Italian foot-long with American , nothing else.....thank you" I said. I had always gotten a sub like this since age fifteen. "Carnivore much?" Riley laughed. I felt my face heat up. " Ha. Yeah I guess" I shrugged. We sat down in a nearby booth after he refused I pay for my part. " So what forum are you planning to put photos I'm gonna send you?" I asked. I always asked this with clients. But before he could answer. A boy maybe eighteen came up to us, " hey fags" he said spitting at us. I had never been so embarrassed before. Well maybe at his age when I started coming out. " well at least I'm proud of my sexuality then hiding in the closet like you" Riley said confidently. I was dumbfounded by his bravery. I sat there. As the eighteen year old looked shocked and ran out. " haha anyways... I was going to actually put them up on a forum for LGBT young adults.... Wasn't that ironically weird." He stated. He looked at me. And I only stared at my half eaten sub. I hated kids nowadays. They were stuck up and rude. And ignorant above all else. " Daryl you weren't bothered by that kid right? He's only a kid" he said. Although I wasn't far off from that kids age I was still offended. " nah, I just hate that you have to put up with those kind of people I guess " he smiled at me. As though he won the lottery. "That's the thing.... Homophobes only make me stronger"