Rachel

A Thought Provoking Morning

I was sleepless the entire night before my new job at the card store in town started but thank god for that because the way my life had it going, being punctual has always been an issue. I was either way late or way, way, way too early. There was absolutely no time for in-betweens.

So, hi. Name's Darren.

That morning, I was dressed and ready for work by seven. The manager had called two nights ago saying that I had to be there by 9:45 a.m for a briefing. Seeing how early it still was, I took a leisurely stroll down to the bus stop couple minutes away from my apartment, smoking and counting out, at the same time, how much I had in change for the bus ride down town. Turned out that I had thirty cents more, which was definitely way cooler than being thirty cents short. No one much was around at that time, there was just me and an elderly couple who looked like they had just finished their morning exercises at the park nearby and were making their way either to get some breakfast or to go home. I smiled in greeting as I passed them by. The jovial looking old lady smiled back. Her husband didn't but that was okay. I walked on till I reached the front of the bus stop, the coins in my pocket jingling alongside my strides.

The crisp morning air was really cool still this time of the day but it was certainly refreshing compared to my study where I had been holed up in all night and I took a few deep breaths, maybe in an effort to clear my lungs, maybe not. I put some music on shuffle. Before long, I caught sight of the red bus that would take me downtown as it peeped out from the junction around the corner.

I walked over, just a little, to the porch area where the bus would stop. The old lady came and stood beside me asking which bus service it was. I saw that she was squinting in quite a bad way.

"It's the number 16, Ma'am."

"Oh, 16? Where would that take us?" She asked on in her feeble little old lady voice.

"Well, it goes around the Stadium, down the highway, into town and then all the way straight down to the terminal in the northwest."

"Is it a long journey? I really love taking long bus rides."

"Yes, Ma'am an hour and half thereabouts maybe?"

"Oh, goody! Thank you, love, you've been a great help!" She said in the most adorable way while clasping her hands together in utmost delight.

"Oh, think nothing of it. I thought you guys lived a little way down, actually. Are you from another neighborhood?"

"We live all the way up north, just before the border. Everyday, we get on a bus and do our morning exercises anywhere we decide to alight. We don't have very much to do at our age and no children to fuss over. We do love bus rides a whole lot though. Do you have any children?"

"Ah, children have flown the coop huh? That's great! Now you get to do whatever you like anytime you want. And no, no children, I'm uh..."

"Gay?" The little old lady completed my sentence for me.

"Very much so, I'm afraid," I looked down at the coins that were now nestled in my palm, quite unsure of what she would think of what I had said.

"Remember now, love, it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes, love gets very intense that way, much more intense than that of the 'usual' relationship," she said with a teeny wink.

"Yes, I'm sure things could happen that way. It's just...hard sometimes with society being the way it is," I replied and ran my hand through my hair.

"I understand what you're saying. The most important thing is to be happy and that will be to be the best person that you can be. Don't go feeling all down just because of what society expects you to be. Instead, you should be happy because they realise now that they will never ever get to experience what you have...Harold!" The old lady who saw that the bus was approaching, called out to her husband. "Harold! The bus is here! HAROLD! Sorry about that, my husband is hard of hearing."

"Naw, don't worry about it. I understand."

"Harold! Stand up, the bus is here I said!"

I looked over to where the old man was and saw that he was slowly, very slowly showing signs of wanting to stand up but he looked like he was unable to. I walked over to him just as the bus stopped in front of us and carried him up without a word.

"Thanks," he said gruffly. "I've lost so much of strength this past year. Used to be able to do that without any problem."

"It's okay, Sir. Not a problem at all."

I waited for the old lady to board the bus and pay their fares before carefully edging by a bunch of the rowdiest school kids I've ever come across to a seat near the exit. I placed him down and then went to the front to sort my fare out.

The school kids were clogging up the middle portion of the bus, so I just stood there next to the driver. I saw him glaring at them through the rear view mirror. I guess some of them must have seen that dirty look he was throwing them as the entire bus started to get a little more quiet. He started to drive.

My conversation with the little old lady those few minutes earlier kept playing in my mind. I had some friends who were that way too, they would live as outed lesbians only to marry at a very old age for companionship just to see what it was like. Well, I don't think that I would do that. I don't really have the emotional strength for it; nor the strength to be picking up after him all the time, instead of doing household chores together or via a mutually agreed upon rotation basis. I have heard too many things about men to want to bother with a life with them. I need my freedom, my love and my sanity. And besides, I just had no interest in them whatsoever.

Past the steel structures a little outside of my neighbourhood, the school children alight in a hushed bunch. Off to school they go, those rambunctious little balls of energy. I zoned out for a while to the music that was coming through my earphones, enjoying whatever little of the bus-ride that was left before I reached my destination. Turning out from the highway into a less busy part of the start of town, the bus veered left and halted at the bus stop near a chain of well-known hotels. A few passengers boarded then. They looked tired and were mostly in uniform. Night shift work, I supposed, from the way they slinked down into their seats. They settled in and mostly started to nod away as the bus continued on a smooth drive further on into the centre of town. I alight at the next stop. I stood up and made my way over to the elderly lady to bid her good day, petting my back pocket as I did to ensure that my wallet hadn't fallen out.

Standing by the exit door, I looked at my reflection in the rear-view mirror. Everything was looking in place, hair was looking good. Cool. It has ben a pretty good start to the morning this far. And now, to get some breakfast and off to the briefing we go, or so I thought.