Stay Away From My Friends (Jenna McDougall and Vic Fuentes)

Chapter 12

**panic trigger warning**

By the time I get home, the streetlights are coming on. I put my skateboard in the garage, and then put my bracelets back on to hide my scars. As soon as I step inside, my mom screams at me.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!" she demands.

I'm startled by the outburst, but I honestly should've expected it.

"At the park," I tell her. No need to lie. It's not like I'll be able to.

"You said you were sick!" she yells.

"I didn't say that," I defend. "I said I wasn't feeling well."

"You weren't at school but you were well enough to be at the park?" she's getting louder and louder.

"You wouldn't understand," I mutter.

"UNDERSTAND? Vic, I found your backpack in a ditch on my way home!" she picks it up off the table and throws it at me. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

I feel my blood boiling inside me. I want to scream at her and cry and just let it out. Telling Jonny, Kyle and Travis everything at the park felt so good. Letting it out was the best thing in the world. But right now, I'm just pissed. She doesn't know what it's like. I've been wanting to die. My life's been terrible. And she's not helping.

"I don't know!" is all I yell back.

"You don't KNOW?"

Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say.

"You don't know why you're throwing your life away and destroying the family name?!"

"Sorry I can't be some successful science kid like you wanted me to!"

She always wanted a better kid. Someone smarter, who was interested in engineering and that shit. But I'm not. I'm a musician and a writer and a thinker. I can't be what she wants.

"You could at least try to care!" she yells.

It's fucking hard to care when you don't want to live.

"Just shut up!" I finally scream back.

It's quiet for a moment. We're both just staring at each other.

She sniffs. "...Have you been smoking?"

"Maybe," I say flatly.

That did it.

"Get out!" she points to the door.

"Fine!"

I take my backpack and storm out of the house, slamming the door behind me. I don't know where I'm going, but I don't care. I just run. And I don't look back.

I feel warm tears streaking down my face. I can't breathe.

I fall over and roll into a ditch on the side of the road. I feel my neck and back start to get sore.

I hyperventilate, trying to control my breathing. My chest feels like it's being stomped on. I think I'm having a panic attack.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. What have I done? I need to go back and apologize. I need to tell her what's going on and get help. Fuck, I need help.

I know I should tell my mom about everything, but I still don't want to. I don't think I could.

I need to call Kellin and Mike and apologize to them too. But I can't. No one wants to hear it, I'm sure.

These feelings are eating me alive as I lay, sprawled out in a pit of mucky water and dying grass. Tears are still streaming down my face, and my hearts beating faster than I could ever run. I could never outrun this.

What should I do? No one will take me back. I've fucked up too much. I'm such a fucking failure. My life has been falling apart and I've let it. Forget Ronnie and everyone else, this is all on me.

An idea pops into my head. Jonny. I'll call Jonny.

I get out my phone and scroll through my contacts. I click on his and hit call. I hope I'm not annoying him. Please don't let me be a burden.

"Hello?" he answers.

"H-Hey," I say. "It's Vic."

"Oh hey. What's up man? Are you okay? You sound terrible," I met this kid today and he seems to care more than everyone else I've had in my life.

"N-No. I'm not," I stutter. "M-My mom kicked me out. Can you come get me? If it's not too much trouble."

"Oh my god, of course," he says. "Where are you?"

I tell him where I am and he agrees to come get me. I hang up. I think if I didn't meet him today, I'd be dead by now.

I crawl out of the ditch and sit on the side of the road. I'm shaking and crying, waiting for Jonny.

Soon, a car pulls up and Jonny gets out. He rushes over. "Oh my god" is all he can say.

He helps me into the car, puttinf my backpack into the backseat.

"Thank you," I whisper.

He shakes his head. "Don't thank me. I had to come."

"But you barely know me," I protest. "You just met me today and already I've dumped all this shit on you."

"Vic, you haven't dumped anything on me," he keeps driving, calmly staring ahead. "I know what it's like to be in this kind of place. And if I had someone to help me out, I would've gotten out a lot faster. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you. I know we just met, but I trust you. I want to be here for you."

I burst into sobs. I can't help it. "Thank you so much."

Jonny nods. "Of course."

Jonny takes me back to his place. His sister Natalie helps me get cleaned up. She takes care of my cuts and washes the mud off me. Jonny brings me some of his clothes to wear.

"These are probably too big for you but fuck it," he says, handing them to me.

I take them. "They're perfect. Thank you," I look at Natalie. "And thank you too."

She smiles and nods, then goes to her room.

Jonny takes me into his room. "You can sleep in my bed," he says.

"No way," I say. "You're doing enough already."

"Just get in the damn bed," Jonny says, laying on the floor.

I sigh and set my backpack by the bed on the floor. "Thanks."

Jonny nods and closes his eyes. I crawl into his bed, which is very comfy. It's nice.

I fall asleep almost instantly, only now realizing how tired I am.

AN: I'm sure Mama Fuentes isn't like this, again, just for conflict. I'm tagging these chapters with trigger warnings because this is when all the heavy shit happens. Things are going to get better, I promise :)