Diaries and Dialogue

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Disclaimer: I don't even own a laptop. Much less a bestselling series.

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Fowl Manor, June 5th

Holly's diary entry:

By the way, to the person who is reading this right now, this is not a diary. It's a record book. I am just going to write whatever I feel like whenever I feel like. This is my first time being pregnant, and it may never happen again, so I feel like I should record my thoughts and feelings during this time to maybe share with my own daughter some day. I have been staying at Fowl Manor for five days. Artemis is the only Fowl at the mansion right now. The twins and his parents will be arriving on the twenty-fifth. Ow, the babies are kicking. Hard. Wait, the babies are kicking! They shouldn't be able to kick that hard at, what, five weeks. I better talk to Artemis about this.

Artemis has no explanation. NO EXPLANATION! Oh Frond, what the hell is happening to me? Are my babies gonna die? Am I gonna die? Oh Frond, I'm having a panic attack. Panic attack! It's okay, Holly. Breathe. Just breathe. I feel like killing someone. Frond dammit, Artemis heard me. If he knocks on that damn door one more time...

Butler yelled at me for punching Artemis. I mean, come on, who can blame me? He was being super annoying and I am not in the mood to be super annoyed. Yes, I apologized, and yes, I healed him. Not that he needed it, what with his all-powerful magic and all that shit. D'Arvit, they're kicking again. Ow, you stupid things! Stop torturing your mama! Okay, I'm going to go get a painkiller before I hurt myself.

Foaly called today and asked what's up. I told him what happened and that I would be staying here for a while. He sounded a little suspicious, as if he thought I were carrying Artemis' children. *mimes throwing up* Who does he think I am? Turnball Root?

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Artemis' diary entry:

June 15,

Holly and I went to visit Mulch again today. He finally got himself down from the tree. It was very funny to watch. At first he tried to eat the tree, but he didn't like the taste of the bark. Then he considered jumping down. He thought about it for about fifteen minutes, although you wouldn't have known it by looking at him, because he was screaming curses at Holly and myself the whole time. The only reason I know he was thinking about it is that he said "Okay, I've thought about it. I'm jumping." And he jumped. It wasn't a very graceful jump. Rather, he looked like a bird with a broken wing trying to fly. And he did break his left arm. Holly punished him for spying on us by not healing him, which was a very bad punishment, because it was a compound fracture¹. He almost cried. She finally gave in and healed him, but then he noticed her large midsection and said something along the lines of "Wow. You two were busy in that bed, weren't you?" and she punched him. She did not heal the cut and bruise that he received from the punch.

Holly's babies are kicking. What does that mean? I have some theories. Maybe the fact that they're hybrids means that they grow quicker. Or maybe the magic...no, never mind.

Holly punched me. Again. In the face this time. Holly has been punching people a lot lately. I think I'd better do my best to stay out of her way.

I tested my magic more. I can teleport. For lack of a better word, awesome.

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Foaly was playing a Mud Man computer game when he heard a knock at the door of the Ops Booth. Well, it was more like a series of very hard bangs.

Foaly closed the game, pulled up a random document on the screen, and checked the camera, though he already knew who it was. He buzzed the door open, letting the Commander in.

"So, Commander," , he began tentatively, "how's cleanup going?"

Teagan ignored the question. "Have you found the captain?"

"Yes, Commander, but-"

"But what? Where is she?"

Foaly snorted at the interruption. "She is at Fowl Manor, and appears to be staying there for a while. And the 'but' is...well...Holly's pregnant, sir, and she won't be able to come down and help."

Teagan's face turned red. "So, our best officer just so happened to take a nine month vacation when our second best officer decides to take over Haven. Great, just D'Arvittin' great."

Foaly nodded. "Yup. Our resident badass is having a baby. And unintentionally bailing on us. D'Arvit."

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¹compound fracture: a bone fracture in which a piece of the bone cuts the skin and sticks out; very painful.

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