Lights of the Future

Chapter 4

Today went by in a blur. I'm pretty sure when Mr. Lanir gave me my science quiz, I answered most of the questions with little sad faces. All I could think about was my life before I went wrong. My childhood. My childhood wasn't particularly interesting in any way. It was just a giant mix of soccer games, party hats, and being alone. I was always alone. Being normal, I was the boring one in my family. I got As and Bs, I didn't act, I didn't sing, and I didn't do sports. Most of the time I sat in my room alone, staring at the wall. Doing absolutely nothing. Before high school, I was a normal blonde haired girl who blended in. My best friend didn't blend in though. Everyone knew my best friend.

Lacey. Lacey had light blonde hair and the most beautiful eyes you had ever seen. I'm not a lesbian, and even I could look into those eyes for days. Lacey sang, she act, she wrote. She was absolutely perfect. The problem is, she couldn't see that. Lacey never had a boyfriend for over 1 week, but only because she was so fun and kind that it was hard to date her. I always felt second best to Lacey. She was the one who got invited to the parties, I was the one who followed along in her shadow, doing only what she did.

I don't know what ever happened to Lacey. We kind of just stopped being friends. Occasionally she still says hi in the hallway, or I give her a little smile, but that's pretty much it. But, all I want to do right now is run to her and cry. I don't know how she would take that, but I don't care. I just want to hug her and tell her about Dylan and Lily and Dayna.

That's all I can think about all day. When the bell rings, I leave the room in a daze and slowly merge into the sophomore traffic, when I see Lacey. Walking by her is hard, knowing that she is the only person that could help me at this point. She gives me a smile, and as I am about to return the gesture, I see Dylan and Lily walking together, holding hands, and laughing. That's not fair. As I pass them they stop talking and glare at me. I then turn around and run. Fast. I don't care about the fact that I don't have a ride home. I can walk. I just don't want to be around other people right now.

Walking home, I keep reliving having sex with Dylan, fighting with Lily, being pushed into the pool, all of my most horrible memories, and they all happened in the past 3 days.

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As soon as I get home, I see a nice red CRV parked outside the house. No one in my family has a red CRV. I walk through the door and say a simple "Hi." But nobody responds. I enter my room to see Lacey sitting on my bed texting someone. She looks up at me and asks

"Are you okay?"

I shake my head as she opens her arms wide. I sit next to her on my bed and start to sob as she holds me.

"I wish I could go back to middle school." I whisper. She takes my hair and braids it into a small braid, then takes it out again.

"This is easy." She says softly

"What?" I ask. She nods her head and whistles as she stands up and walks into my bathroom. I can hear the bath running as I walk in to find her getting a white towel and some pink nail polish.

" I am so not painting my nails pink." I said bluntly, still wiping the tears from my eye.

"That's not what it's for honey," she replies. "Do you like your hair?"

"No. I liked it better when it was blonde I just wanted to see how my parents would react." I replied

"Good."

She then walks back into my bedroom and pulls out a really old swimsuit that is ripped and sagging. She gestures at me to put it on as she goes back into the bathroom and turns the faucet off.

I walk into the bathroom in my old swimsuit and slowly get in the tub as she gets my hair wet.

"It's not going to come out with water." I say. She just smiles at me and opens the nail polish, painting it on my black hair. She then uses the towel to wipe it off and voila, my hair is blonde. As she continues with the rest of my hair she texts her mom saying she won't be home tonight. That's okay, I want someone else here with me tonight. I don't want to be alone anymore.

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That night Lacey and I talked. We talked about boys, movies, food, school. Everything. That morning I woke up more refreshed then I had ever felt. I wasn't even tired. I rolled over to see that Lacey wasn't there anymore. I quickly sat up to see her rummaging through my closet to find a pretty blue and black skirt, a black shirt, an white vans.

"You should wear this today." She says

I put it on as she slides on a pink dress with a crocheted lining. As I go into the bathroom she grabs my rn and sits me down on the floor, pulling out her makeup bag. She slowly applies mascara, gold eyeshadow, and a tiny bit of pink gloss. Even though I barely have any makeup on, I still feel more beautiful then I have since 8th grade.