Chasing Stars - A Midnight Mafia Novel

Chapter Twenty-Three

My fancy Mexican restaurant came full equip with a self-serve fountain drink station and plastic silverware. It was a good life.

"So what'd you want to talk about?" I asked bringing the blue rectangular shaped serving tray back to a booth. "And if it's about getting my help to hurt Alessio I swear I will squirt hot sauce into your eyes."

"I just needed to make sure you were okay, I mean I knew you were okay mostly, I watch you on the news every day but I needed to make sure you were really, okay, okay. And had to make sure you knew I wasn't, that I'd never try to trick you."

"I know."

"I just assumed he'd taken over when he was 18 I guess. That was around the age he was when his grandfather passed I just figured he wouldn't stepped up when his grandfather was out since his father is still running things in Italy-"

"I know."

"I wouldn't try to trick you like that, or hurt you. I'd never betray your trust."

"I know!"

"I care way too much about you to try something shady like that. I'm so stupid, I never-"

"Nash!" I put my hand on top of his with a small smile. "I know!"

"You do?"

I rolled my eyes but my smile didn't falter. "Yes Nash. I know. I'm not mad at you."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. I'm such a shit sometimes. I was so obsessed with Alessio I was looking at the Genovese as a whole and not at who they were with Alessio. I fȕcked up royally. So fȕcking much. I've spent the last three weeks going over every detail again. I can't believe I'm so fȕcking stupid."

I pulled my hand away from his. "Well it was just as much my fault. Okay, maybe a little bit yours since you're the one who shoved everything in my face...but I sat on those files for weeks and didn't do more fact checking either. I read every single file Nash, did you know that? Every single one. Burned into my mind. You have no idea how hard it was...thinking of Alessio as...that kind of person... I don't know. You were blinded by your hatred and I was blinded by my love. We were both careless and stupid with a matter that needed 100% focus. You fȕcked up Nash, but I went along with it too. If I would have just talked to Alessio I could have saved all of us a lot of trouble."

"It wasn't your place to have to talk to him though. I should have known from the beginning. He was here at 18, I know that. I just thought- Oh it doesn't matter what I thought. It was my fault."

"But he's my boyfriend. I should have trusted him. I mean, maybe not. I know what his position entails. I'm not naïve. I know that what Alessio does would probably hurt my heart if I accepted it. And I think that's why it was so easy for me to just jump on board. Because I know he's a bad guy Nash. I really, really do. And seeing all of that just made my worst fears come to life. I think this entire relationship I've sort of just tried to turn a blind eye to everything, push it out of my mind. When it finally took to my family, I sort of just snapped. I was just thinking of losing Nicolo, of everyone I'd already lost and I just snapped."

"I'm sorry about your cousins, siblings too."

I smiled lightly. "Thank you Nash. I jumped the gun. Because people in my family dying to this sort business is just too familiar. I should have talked to Alessio, should have been more patient. He's a bad guy, in a sense, but he's not a bad person. I don't know if you believe that or not. But I appreciate you helping me, and taking me to my dad that night. Nash I really do, you have no idea how much I needed him in that moment, but I never should have called you, offered to put Alessio's head on the chopping block. I just. I thought I was losing someone else and it took me back to a place I wouldn't like to visit again. When you showed me all those folders everything was just too real. Everyone my family has lost to organized crime, Nicolo to Alessio's family." I sighed heavily. "I wish I would have just talked to him first."