The Lady Penitent

VII. On the Field

Seva smiled widely at Holland, rushing over to hug her guardian. "We are to be wed by spring!" she said, sounding so delighted that the penitent didn't have the heart to do anything but give the young woman her best smile.

"I'm happy for you," Holland said, giving Seva a slight squeeze in the hug. It felt so good to have the baroness's body against her own that it was almost physically painful to let her go. She tried to memorize the feeling no matter how brief the moment. "What's the prince's verdict?"

"As glad as I am," Seva said. She took a step back, still smiling brightly at her friend. "We missed thee at dinner."

"I spent some time catching up with an old friend before I prayed," Holland said. She had spent a lot of time in front of Nessa's altar, praying for knowledge after her encounter with the shard of Deus. Of all the gods, it was the Goddess of Death she felt the closest to, perhaps because she had spent so much of her life courting oblivion. "Ciar is going to be staying at the temple with the monks. They're fine teachers."

"A good place for him," Seva said. She took a seat on the broad ledge at the window. The sun was setting now, a brilliant orange bathing the sky. "I pray he will be happy there. Didst thou find the answers thou sought?"

"I didn't realize I was looking for answers," Holland said, sitting down facing her friend on the same ledge. Seeing Seva glowing like this for any reason made for a strange lightness in her own chest.

"Thou didst seem most troubled," Seva said, studying Holland more closely. Honestly, the warrior didn't look any more at ease than she had on the road. That realization sobered Seva slightly. "Thou art still troubled."

"Nothing that you need to worry about while you're celebrating, my lady," Holland assured her. "I will be departing the city for some time, but hopefully I'll be back in time for the wedding." Please, gods, let me not be back in time for the wedding, she prayed silently. She wanted Seva to be happy, but she could live without watching the woman she was in love with bind herself to Fionn for a lifetime.

"It wouldst not be the same without thee," Seva said.

The pain in her chest returned almost immediately. "If I'm still breathing, I'll be there."

Seva's blue eyes widened. "If thou drawest breath? What misfortune dost thou intend to find?"

"I'm going out with the Hooded Knights and some of the king's men to find the men responsible for Aediobri," Holland said. When she saw Seva's expression turn plaintive, she reached out and squeezed her friend's hand. It was far too easy and natural to touch the noble. "I've been in battle many, many times, my lady."

"And yet thou makest mention to me of death," Seva said reproachfully. She sighed and returned the squeeze to her hand. "Promise me that thou wilt be the very soul of caution. Thou art my best friend and one I would not lose. I would go with thee, but..."

"But you have to live, safely, to be Queen," Holland said. She gently pulled her hand away, feeling the loss acutely. What would it be like to lean in and kiss Seva? Some part of her would always wonder, she knew. "Anyway, I just came to say goodnight and make sure you were well. Congratulations on your engagement, my lady."

Seva's blue eyes followed her as she stood up. "Wilt thou ever call me by my name?" the baroness asked.

"I don't know, my lady," Holland said. She gave Seva a little bow. "Sleep well."

After she left Seva, the night passed altogether too quickly and Holland found herself saddling up Maël alongside the commander of the Hooded Knights, the Lord Protector Cadeyrn of Iria. He was a solid man in his early fifties, still fit enough to charge around the field of battle with sword in hand. The grey pennant flapped on the end of his lance in the light autumn breeze. They'd met before on a few occasions, mostly along the great south road that followed the coast of the Eye of the World. Holland had shared a campfire with him often enough to know he was a good man and by reputation, an excellent commander.