The Lady Penitent

XIX. Winter Fire

The bed was cold.

Seva closed her eyes, but her mind refused to let it go. Sleep was an elusive creature more often than not these days, driven away by thoughts that seemed to have a will of their own. It was turning summer now in Yssa, but in her heart it was winter. She had created a rift with Fionn when she agreed to Dušan's deal, though part of her wondered in the dark of these lonely nights if he had just been waiting for an excuse. At first, naivety had shielded her from the truth. Of course Fionn loved her—she adored him, didn't she? Yes, she hadn't forgiven him for driving Holland away, but she understood that however much she hated the separation, it was necessary. He had calmed and assured her he was no longer angry, and they had made peace with his agreement that in time, Holland would be allowed to return. For a few weeks, it had been fine. Not good, not perfect, but fine.

He thought that she didn't know, and she wished bitterly that he was right. Somewhere, her fairy tale had begun to come unraveled, but the worst part was being aware of that fact, watching it happen and being unable to stop it.

..."Your Majesty, we should talk," Cadeyrn said quietly, touching her elbow and guiding her out into the gardens without leaving her much room to protest. He was only so bold because he had become her most trusted advisor as she learned all the things she needed to in order to run the country. Fionn was a good general and a charming man, but he decidedly lacked the acumen necessary to handle things like finances and the delicate dance of politics behind the scenes. Seva was used to running a barony on her own, so really it was only a difference of scale. She had taken to it well, mostly because she was willing to listen where Fionn was not.

She was not content, not without her faithful hound, but she felt at least useful as she gradually and subtly began the hard work of preparing her country for what was coming. Fionn had proclaimed he had no use for the numbers and intricacies that were necessary, gladly leaving those details in her hands. In his heart, he really would have rather been a prince still than a king. He liked to lead, not to rule. It had fallen to her, and filled her hours from sunrise to sunset with a constant business that distracted her from the ache of her friend's absence.

The past week had been a little less busy, not for lack of work, but because of the news Dušan had given her: she had a child on the way. There was not even a quickening in her belly yet, but the magus had sensed a change in the flow of magic through her body when she wove her spells and recognized it for what it was. She and the Leyan magus had been training together for the last month since he arrived in the city as an envoy from the High King. The Queen of Yssa an eager pupil whenever her husband was out of Tamaris. His Sight had not revealed to him yet whether it was a boy or a girl, but he had promised to tell her the moment it became apparent. Seva had taken just a little bit of a break the moment she knew, equal parts stunned and overjoyed. Words had deserted her. She was still trying to find a good way to tell Fionn.

Out in the garden, Seva wanted to smile, but found her lips no longer obeying as she realized how grave Cadeyrn's expression was. "What is it?" she asked him, concern overwhelming her ambient happiness. "Dost thou have word from the north? Is Holland well?" She had received no letters from her friend, but every once and a while news arrived from Cadeyrn in the form of the snippets of information he received from the hooded knight who had left for the north with the Lady Penitent. Sir Ardashir Sadeghi occasionally managed to leave coded notes now and again that were brought back by travelers.

"I..." Cadeyrn seemed to steel himself. "No, I have no word there. This is about the King."

"Fionn?" Seva said, puzzled.

The Lord Protector looked cagey, almost wary, but there was something else in his eyes when he looked at her that she couldn't quite put her finger on. "What do you know of him and Lady Naris?" he asked her quietly.