Transparent ¤ Phan

Chapter Two

Dan's POV

'Thanks for having me over yesterday. I really needed that'

I closed my eyes, trying to forget the word around me. My chest was aching, and I couldn't concentrate on anything but that pain. Soft footsteps rang in my ear, a small giggle was heard beside me. "Anika." My little brother giggled. I couldn't help the small pain filled smile that took over my lips.

My little brother, Oliver, could never say my name correctly. "It's Dankia." I corrected him, to which he just started to giggle again. "Whatever." He smiled, reaching his small hand over and poking my cheek. "What is it, Oli?" I asked as I turned onto my side, silently crying out in pain. "Come play with me." He pouted.

My lips forced themselves into a frown. Since I had started living as Dan, I hadn't been spending time with my little brother. We used to be extremely close, and would do everything we could together. I just didn't feel like he would understand if his older sister suddenly changed and turned into a boy. "Not right now, Oli." I mumbled softly.

The frown that appeared on his lips was enough to make anyone shed a tear. "B-but Anika." He whimpered. I let out a silent sigh as I slowly sat up. "What did you have in mind?" I asked softly. His smile immediately returned, his eyes becoming even brighter than before.

...

After almost an hour of playing various children's video games with Oliver, our mother called us down into the living room, without any explanation as to why. She called it a 'family meeting', whatever the hell that meant.

The living room was normally a quiet place, being that no one ever went in there. It had a tv and couches, just like any other living room would, but we never used it. We all had our own tvs and computers in our rooms, so it wasn't useful at all for us.

"Take a seat, Danika." My mom spoke to me as I entered the room. The air from my lungs disappeared as I heard the cold tone in her voice. I took my seat as far away from her as possible, trying to regain my breath.

Oliver looked around the room, glancing at everything surrounding us. I could tell his anxiety was high, it was like the calm before the storm. You could sense when shit was about to go down.

"I've decided." My mom spoke as I finally sat down and stopped moving. "On?" I asked, feeling my pulse picking up immediately. My eyes flashed to the door, hearing my father cough, letting us know he was there.

"We can't support you transitioning." We heard him say as he entered the room, setting his bag on the floor. The breath I didn't know that I had been holding, then released itself. My heart dropped from my chest down to somewhere near my stomach, my head began to feel dizzy.

Oliver looked over at me, his features laced with a childlike worry. "W..what?" I managed to say, looking back and forth from each of my family members. "We can't support you." My mother repeated. It was like someone has stabbed me in the gut, and now was slowly turning the blade inside of me.

"W-why?" I spoke weakly, looking to my mother with sorrow filled eyes. She let out a sigh, her eyes meeting mine for a mere moment before dropping my gaze. "Well.. Your father and I have discussed th-" She began, before being interrupted by my dad, "We didn't raise a boy."

Who gave him the right to say such a thing? My face went red as my mind filled with anger. I saw my mom looking over me, examining me up and down. "Danika, we're sorry.." She tried, probably thinking that by saying that she wouldn't upset me as much.

"You didn't raise a boy? Huh? That's your fucking excuse?" I scoffed, shaking my head. "We didn't. We raised a young girl. A girl who isn't appreciative of everything we've done for her." My dad spoke back, his tone showing that he was upset.

"Well, you must be mistaken. The only thing you two have ever done for me was give me a place to live. You've never once told me that you love me, or that you cared. You've never taken care of me when I'm sick, or coddled me like a child when I would cry. You treated me like an animal, just for wanting to live the way I want. All I ever asked you for was support. To at least call me your son. I can pay for everything on my own, everything. Binders, testosterone, surgeries.. Everything. All I wanted was for you to call me your son and be happy for me. So no, I'm not appreciative of what you've done, because you haven't done shit."

Both of my parents were obviously shocked by what had just come out of their 'shy child's' mouth. Never had they expected for such an outburst to happen, obviously.  Oliver, who I had completely forgotten about in the middle of my speech, looked both deathly confused, and horrified by my very existence.

My mother, now on the verge of tears, looked me in the eyes and spoke two words. Two of the scariest words to anyone in the transgender or LGBT+ community:

"Get out."

...

Within twenty minutes I up and out of my flat. My mother told me that I was welcome back once I became a female again, so I basically knew that I would never be able to return. I didn't know where to go. I had little to no money whatsoever, and I had no close friends that I could rely on; None that I was trans, anyways.

All I had to my name now was two bags containing everything I could fit inside, twenty pounds, and three bottles of my antidepressants. I walked down the street, the cool air burning my skin as the wind passed me.

I had no where to go. That thought was very prevalent in my mind as I walked towards downtown, where I knew I could at least get a bus to somewhere, anywhere. I felt my phone buzzing in my back pocket, and I let out another sigh. I set one of my bags down on the sidewalk, retrieving the device from my pocket. I quickly read the name on the screen: 'Phil'.

A smile took my cheeks captive as I answered the call. "Ello, mate. How ya feelin'?" I heard his voice speak to me. "Pretty.. Pretty shit, Actually." I mumbled, to which I knew he rolled his eyes. "Why's that?" Phil asked. "Well.. It's a long story."

"Come over to my flat then. I've got some time to spare." He told me. The way he spoke was telling me that he was smiling, just from the way that he sounded. "Sure.. Yeah. I'll be right over." I replied, slowly leaning down to pick up the bag I had previously set down. "Alright, see you then, mate." He said. I knew after that he'd hang up, so I quickly said, "oh, and Phil.."

"What?" He inquired.

"Mind if I stay the night?"
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A/N: hope you guys enjoy this chapter! Sorry it took so long to update, I've been having some personal issues and shit.. But yeah. Anyways!  I look forward to seeing you guys thoughts on this chapter. Best regards,
Oliver