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first

Sevenhundred sixtythree days. Two years, one month and three days. I remember, it was a rainy and windy day, i just was in school, in soccer lesson afterwards and just got home, when i got a call.

Unknown caller.

"Hello?" I picked up my phone.
No response,
"hello?!" I said again seconds before i wanted to hang up.

"H.. Hey its anne" a quiet, sobbing voice was on the other line. It was familiar for me, but i never heard her like this.
"Hi anne, is everything good? I asked with a scared Voice.

The only Thing i could hear then was how she bursted into Tears, and i realized nothing is good here, actually there have to be something wrong.

"No Louis, actually nothing is good, something really bad happened" her voice cracked, i felt a huge lump built up in my throat.

"Louis, i'm sorry to tell you this now, but a few minutes ago, Harry succumbed his cancer, he died."

My heart shattered in a million pieces, i was shivering and i had the feeling, that with every breath the air in my lungs get fewer and fewer. I hung up without saying goodbye but this was the last thing i could think at this moment. I felt so empty, i didn't know what i should feel.

"This can't be it Louis, No !!"

I screamed when i hit the mirror on my wall, with my fist. Blood flowed down my knuckles and down to my arm but i didn't care at all.

Tears flowed down my face and my i just layed on the floor in between shatters of the mirror. I felt so empty, i've never felt so lost before. I actually didn't remember how many hours i layed there but it felt like an eternity.

"He died" these words replayed in my head again and again and it triggered a shiver through my Body with every time.

Harry Styles.

His name sounds like a poetry for me, beautiful.
We started talking with each other in grade eleven at Highschool. My Mom, my sister and i just moved from Doncaster to Cheshire. I was really annoyed at the beginning, because i had to leave my friends, go to another school and everything.

Yeah i remember the first time i saw him. When i was sitting in Geo class on my first day of school, everyone was staring at my like a motherfucking truck. The lesson hadn't started yet, so i just looked around the room, trying to avoid eye contact. But then, the door wen't open and Harry walked in. His dark brown curls were just over his ears, pushed to the side, perfect length. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a red flannel over it and a black skinny Jeans. He looked kinda tired but who wasn't at 7:45 am because of school.
But anyways his deep green eyes sparkled like stars.
He placed next to my table and i could feel his eyes going up and down on my body.

"Hi, i'm Harry" he said. His dark voice did a special thing to me.
"Hey, i'm Louis" i answered shily. And i think he actually realized that my cheeks blushed, i felt kinda awkward.
This was the only thing since then, we talked.

It was break and i was going to my locker to change my books for the next lesson, when i saw a note on my locker door.

Hello Louis, meet me after school at 3 pm behind the Gym.
See you there, H xx

What. Was he serious? We only shared three words with each other and he wanna meet me? What does he want to do? Does he wants to beat me?
I was really scared but i decided to be at the Gym at 3 am because i actually should be happy, that someone wanted to meet me on my first day here.

When i walked over to the Gym Harry already stood there in a group of people. I'm really not that outgoing person, so i didn't wanted to interrupt them, so i just waited till he was ready with the conversation.
When he finally realized my Presence, he just ignored the conversation with his friends, and sent me all his Attention.
So we actually talked the whole afternoon, about everything. I told him about my old home, my soccer career, my family and everything he asked for. He also told me very much about him, what i was completely ok with it.
It felt like i knew him for so long even when its only a few minutes.
And how time plays by we met everyday after school just to chilled out or studied together. I really could say, that Harry was my best friend. I shared everything with him, and I literally knew him better than i knew myself. He was my second half.

*

And now he's gone forever? This can't be it. It was just to early, he was only 19 years old. We had so many plans for our later lifes. What we wanted to explore and experience together. And now, everything should just be over? I can't believe it, this can't be everything. I miss him already, how should i just go on like nothing happens? How should i ever be happy again? I can't think straight right now. Maybe i could get some of my Mom's sleep medicine to join Harry? Because this would mean we would see each other again and this is all i want.
I'm still lying on that fucking floor in my own blood and tears, all around me, glass from the broken mirror, but i still don't care. I just try to delight myself in memories about him. Why him? Why now? Why, why why?

All these questions were running through my head, but the most important question i asked myself again and again was:

"Why i hadn't told him, that i'm in love with him."

__________________________
HEY GUYS
Soo, my name is kat and i would like to know what you think about this fanfiction since now ? Thanks for reading & commenting, ily' all have a nice day xx.

Twitter: @poetslwt