What It Is To Die

Jason

My goodness. Has anyone ever been so annoying you want to slap them across the face and make them leave earth!!? Well that's what I want to do with Rebecca. She bought me cheap chocolate again. She'll waste her time buying me stupid low-cost chocolates but can't pack me a lunch?

By the way, there is no groomer. There's a woman named Jessica who I appreciate much more than Rebecca though. This woman Jessica had a golden retriever too. That's how we met in fact.

I was on a stupid, forced, walk with that damned dog Pluto and this blonde woman wasn't looking and bumped into me and made Pluto and her dog Asia run into each other. She had a bag of her dog's waste and it got all over both of us. Disgusting, I know. She offered to let me and Pluto into her apartment to wash it off. I accepted obviously.

I learned that she was a 22 year old named Jessica Toughy who happened to work at the same office as me and Rebecca. She had a desk job like Rebecca but I had promoted her after a few months of knowing her. This was because we were having an affair. Every week, I would take Pluto to get, "groomed." Rebecca had no idea of this affair seeing as how dumb she was it was easy to have an affair. I would say I leave an hour early for work but most of the time it was to take Jessica for breakfast.

She was the perfect woman.