Alone

The begging

Well I have been you can call it alone , depressed,self conscious, sad For a really long time . It's because of me and other people...well that's what my brother Alex says . He thinks it's my fault but he's right it is...I do have one friend his name is Jason he's the only one who thinks I'm a good friend . But I'm not the only kid who is going threw this...it's sad how a smile can hide lots of things and nobody notices anything but if it was to change maybe I wouldn't have to go threw all of this . My mom has taken me to a consoler, therapist, new schools , she even thought about getting me homeschooled but she has to go to work and my dad past away along time ago he was murdered .And I never really knew him but my mom told me he was one of the most nicest people she ever met . I'm skipping school again because of bulling my moms scared that I'll kill myself one day so I have to be watched by my moms friend it's annoying because I can't even be in a room by myself shes always there . And when I go to the washroom she stands outside and yells my name every four seconds to tell me to hurry up . But one day I got so sick of it I went to the wash room and I locked myself in the washroom just to get away from her. After screaming my name for five minutes she called the cops saying that I was going to
Kill myself so they came and bust the door down expecting to find me dead. But instead the found me playing on my phone . So yeah my life is pretty wired and not only that but I'm going to a new school sadly ... I know it's just going to start all over again it's not going to get any better I know
It's not . After all how can I fix what has been done to this world . It's been painted red with bullying I can't fix that. It's to big of a broken picture to big of a stain that I can't clean it's not going to go away ....it's just going to get worse. I wish my life was easy to live threw like a fairy tale I wouldn't have a care in the world. But no I have to live threw all the gory details . I'm living a horror story waiting for another victim it's not easy being the odd person out . I'm an outsider and the names I get called burn and brake down my soul there isn't much of me left...I can only hang on for so long until I let go this world is getting more painful everyday because how can you live a happy life when your happiness was taken from you? How can you sew a broken heart with out thread . how can you cry without tears. How can you bleed with out blood . How can you see without eyes . How can you love without a heart .....how can you scream when it's always been silent......I'm silent screaming forever bleeding praying to god that It'll stop but instead all I do is sob and cry until I pass out....This is my silent scream my lonely story with burned pages with a scared cover and a lost lover this me this is a silent scream .