Dreams

Conversation about a Haunting Memory- Dr. Ray Langston

Dr. Ray Langston woke suddenly from his deep sleep, as if someone was calling his name and shaking him awake. He looked to his right to see if his boyfriend Raja was attempting to wake him up. But no, Raja was in his own deep sleep. Ray sighed and sat up in the bed, listening for anything out of the ordinary. After not hearing anything, he quietly got out of bed and walked across the hall to the kitchen. He decided to survey his backyard to make sure nothing odd was going on.

After looking, he sat down on the swing bench and thought about what had really woken him up. He and Raja had spent a wonderful afternoon and evening together. Both men had been really busy on their jobs the past week and a half and barely had time to talk to each other, much less spend any time together. Cooking dinner together was always fun for them. Raja would share some of his family's traditional Indian recipes. Ray would share some of his favorites, even those he remembered while living in South Korea as a child. Sometimes they would try recommended dishes from others or something they heard that sounded interesting. Every once in a while it would end in disaster and the ordering of pizza. Sometimes when they were too tired, pizza was always appropriate.

Tonight's dinner was followed by a bit of dancing to some jazz, a favorite of both men. Raja didn't like the blues as much as Ray, but jazz was always in order between the two. The soothing sounds of Grover Washington, Jr. followed them to a relaxing bath in Ray's Jacuzzi tub, which he rarely used for himself. The sounds of Dave Koz and Boney James provided a lovely background for lovemaking.

As he sat in the night air, he looked down at his hands and the golden wedding band on his left. He had been "widowed" for almost seven years now. Ray still had problems removing the ring. Sometimes he felt the only way he could take it off, was for someone else to put a new one on. Maybe.

The sound of the back door opening brought him out of his trance. It was Raja. He had been concerned about Ray for a few months now. Some days it seemed like he was being haunted by something, but Raja couldn't figure it out. It would wake Ray in the middle of the night and not just at Ray's house. Sometimes when he would spend the night at Raja's, it would happen. And it happened when they took a mini-vacation at Lake Tahoe. So it wasn't Ray's house or Raja's condo. It wasn't even the city of Las Vegas. Raja was beginning to think it was Ray's wedding band.

"Did I wake you?"

"No, the void on the other side of the bed did when I rolled over and expected to find a warm body. I missed you." Raja sat next to him, sharing the blanket he brought outside with him from the foot of the bed by covering both of them.

"I'm sorry."

"I thought you may have been called in or something. Why are you out here in the cold anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Any case in particular?"

"No, that's just it. If it were a case, it would make more sense."

"When Nick had a particularly bad case and the next day off he would call me to come pick him up. When I'd ask him why, he would say he had a bad day and he was going to need a designated driver." They laughed.

"No, nothing like that tonight."

"Then what is it? I've been noticing that something has been bothering you for a few months now. It feels like something is haunting you. I can't explain it." Ray looked at his boyfriend, not realizing that his problem was so visible.

"I didn't know you noticed it. Why didn't you say something?"

"I'm just an accountant, not the CSI. I thought you'd figure it out sooner or later. Hoping for sooner." Ray fingered his wedding band. "You think it has something to do with your ring?"