mom was in the bathroom a few yards
away by the minuscule food stand. dad
was pulling the food out of the cooler.
virginia was getting a towel for herself from
the tote bag they had brought.
they were at the lake; where no one
else really went; a place where they could
all be alone and relax as a family.
carolina ran down to the shore, clapping
her tiny five-year-old hands.
"don't go in the water yet!" virginia
called to her as she laid out to her
towel. "i'll be there in a second!"
virginia had only been looking away
for a second, and when she turned around,
her sister was nowhere to be found. virginia
ran to the shore of the lake, trying to find her
sister before her parents found out.
she jumped in the ice cold water,
looking for any sign that her sister was there.
she saw bubbles, and swam to them quickly.
she went under the water blindly, moving
her hands around to find carolina.
she grabbed something, swimming back
to the sand with it.
it was her sister.
she pushed against carolina's chest,
trying to get her to breathe. she opened
her mouth, performing cpr just like
mom had taught her.
she did this over and over, for ten minutes,
until realization had hit her.
her sister was dead.
and it was all her fault.
her parents blamed her for years.
her mom had become an alcoholic,
while her dad became a workaholic.
and there she was; virginia, slowly
drowning herself in sorrow and remorse
and guilt and pain.
everything was her fault.
