Leaving London

Chapter Thirty One

I struggle with my board over to some of the surf huts. It's past five o'clock and I've not eaten anything since lunch but a morsel of a panini. And I'm starving. That's why I'm deciding to deposit my board somewhere and to nip over to a café to grab something to eat. I already feel dizzy enough and I can guess that trying to stand up on a shifting surfboard whilst I've got a woozy head isn't a brilliant plan. I amble over towards the figure I saw earlier, hoping that they'll let me keep my surfboard tucked away for ten minutes whilst I hurry off for a sandwich. I'm just rehearsing my politest please-may-I-borrow-your-beach-hut when I stop in my tracks and bring my hand to my forehead in a facepalm position. Olli's hut is the one on the end...the one with its door ajar right now. Crumbs. Maybe if I just prop my board up by the side of the hut and wander off he won't know, especially if he's still busy packing stuff away I can just leave and come back later...my idea is crushed by the hut door slamming shut.
"Jeez! What are you doing?" He yelps, "Are you trying to hide or something?"
"Oh, sorry...I mean, I wasn't hiding, I was just going to, erm, ask if I could put my surfboard inside whilst I go and eat, but..." My cheeks feel like they're self-combusting. With all this drama flooding my mindset with worry and anxiety, my budding feelings for Olli have been pushed aside. No, crammed into the corner of my brain, and I can feel them springing back like fireworks.
"Well I was just locking up actually, I can't imagine any more of my lessons will bother turning up...not with this weather."
"Oh, thanks anyway." I say, but my voice hitches on the inside of my throat and comes out as a croak. I cringe and hasten to settle the board on the sand.
"But you're not leaving it there, it'll get nicked. Come on, I'll stay here tidying up until you get back."
"Are you sure? I'll try to be quick..."
"No problem. You really shouldn't be surfing in this weather, it's getting quite wavy out there." He notes, inserting the key and twisting open the door.
"Exactly," I grin, "I haven't ridden any waves like this yet. It'll be fun."
"You shouldn't really be going out there alone."
"Why? Don't think I'm good enough, huh?" I turn up my nose stubbornly.
"Your technique's good, it's just your strength. If it gets nasty out there-"
"I'm sure it'll be just fine, I can surf whenever I like now." I say smugly, glancing at my board proudly. He raises his eyebrows.
"Be careful, though, okay?"
"Okay-y-y." I roll my eyes, but my heart thumps under my shirt. Was he just warning me of the weather or being protective?
"There's supposed to be a storm. Not until much later but anyway, just in case."
"Okay. Thanks, Oliver." I respond as he swiftly hauls my board up onto the highest rack.
"You're welcome, Fearne Wilson." There's an awkward pause as we stand facing each other in the little hut. I begin fiddling with my bag.
"How come we don't talk anymore?" He suddenly fires out, and there. That's it. He's said it.
"You know why." I say stiffly.
"Why should they care? Or matter to either of us?"
"Well, Olli, I don't know if you saw what they did today but it's not going to stop. Mia must really hate me for doing all of this. She obviously takes girl code extremely seriously."
"I saw. They're just stupid girls, and you shouldn't care about what they think."
"I can't deal with them making my life hell. They're ruining everything." I whinge.
"They turned my best friend against me with all of those vicious rumours. We've both paid the price." He sighs, and his hand instinctively reaches towards the purple bruising splattered along his jawbone. It still looks tender and raw, and once again I feel frustrated at Jake for doing this.
"Over one kiss. I mean, it's pretty shallow."
"They're just enjoying the attention." Olli bites.
"Oh, tell me about it." I mutter sarcastically.
"Well, one thing I can tell you is that Mia doesn't hate you at all. She's just jealous."
"Pfft, yeah right." I scoff.
"No, I really mean it. It was pretty obvious, but she did mention it one time."
"Did she?" Confusion rattles my thoughts.
"We were in a relationship, Fearne. She told me stuff, and one thing she told me was how envious she was of you."
"But why would she be." I scoff, dismissing his theory.
"I can think of lots of reasons why." A little flicker of his lips appears.
"I highly doubt it."
"Just trust me on it." Another little flutter of a smile.
"I...but - she never seemed to be."
"She's not great at showing her inner emotions."
"Her inner hatred for me is obvious." I chuckle, although in reality it's anything but a joke.
"Can we stop talking about Mia now? It's not going to make us feel any better about her. We just need to forget her, she's being a bitch."
"I'm not too sure, she seems like she's always been a-"
"-Fearne. There's no point getting worked up over her. She's turned into a car crash, let's forget about it."
"Okay. Sorry."
Another awkward hesitation. I feel the sudden need to get out into the fresh air, to go and get my food so I'm not wasting more of Olli's time, but I can't. It feels like there's a magnetic force between my feet and the wood-worm infested floor planks. Maybe it's just the combination of nervousness and excitement that I get whenever I'm around him.
"Do you know if Jake's calmed down yet?"
"Over us?"
"Well, yeah. Somehow I don't think he was punching me just for the thrill of it."
"He still seems pretty annoyed," I conclude, "But he'll get over himself, don't worry. I can try asking him again tonight."
"I'd call him again but he keeps ignoring all my messages and calls."
"Oh...no, he's had his phone confiscated, so he's not ignoring you. But don't worry, I'll talk to him and sort it all out."
"Thanks, Fearne. Really...thank you." He says solemnly, his green eyes flicking up to mine. The ringed smears of blue stand out in the light. My heart flutters all over the place.
"That's okay. Listen, I'd better get going, I'm starving." As if on cue, my stomach gurgles like a dying animal. I give a humiliated grin and reluctantly turn myself towards the door.
"See you in a bit. Oh, and when you're back, there's something we need to talk about."
"Oh. Really?" My voice squeaks, "What about?"
"About us. It's time we sort things out."
"What?" I choke out, startled.
"I need to admit to something. And I just think we have a few things to discuss, about, well, things." For the first time tonight he looks embarrassed and looks away. An urge to just wrap my arms around him and not let go floods inside of me.
I nod instead, and turn to leave the hut, and my left foot has only just plonked down into a rift of sand when adrenaline swoops from my heart and I turn back from my leaving position. I crash my lips into his and all thoughts dissipate from my mind as his soft fingers entwine through my hair. All logic, all intentions, all knowledge that this can't lead to anything good leave my brain as I slowly move my lips against his, the taste of sea salt dancing on his breath. His hands rest on the indent of my waist, and us holding each other, right in this moment, it feels like all my broken parts are being mended, being fixed. My cheekbones burn under the tips of his fingers as he moves one hand onto my face. I urge all of my sadness into the kiss, feel it leaching from my body until a single tear squeezes from under my closed eyelid and dribbles to my cheek onto Olli's hand. I finally pull away and I don't wait to see the expression plastered on his face, I just turn and run out onto the beach, and away.