Leaving London

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

The following morning, cold reality hits me roughly, like a blasting jet of icy, freezing water set to make me shiver and panic all over again. It all starts when Kayla doesn't turn up at my door to walk to school, and when I casually saunter up to Eve, Kayla and Amy, the second I get over to them, they stop talking and no one makes eye contact with me. Every single day for the last two years (apart from the school holidays and if we're ill), Kayla has turned up to my doorstep at ten past eight, on the dot, usually trying to beg a slice of toast from me or to come inside and warm up her legs by the radiator before we head out to school. So that's why I know she must be really offended or hurt to not have bothered to show up. Dread balls up in the pit of my stomach, my heart thumping and pulsating adrenalin through my veins.

"Those messages," I prompt sharply, "I don't care which one of you sent them but I want you to understand I would never do this just to spite you." This consequences in a ripple of rolled eyes and raised eyebrows. Still, no one speaks. It feels like I'm talking to a brick wall, no answers, just them awkwardly trying not to catch my eye, and staring at the ground in stony silence. Eve starts to guiltily shift around on the pavement. Amy's gaze bores into my face with traces of anger radiating from her eyes. Oh crumbs.

"You could have told us though. Come on, we better get to class." Kayla hisses, nudging the other two, who shuffle after her and leave me stood by myself. I think back to how last night, when I told her, she was acting all supportive, but now what? She hates me I suppose. I don't even care. I just accept it. I would be hurt if I were in their position too, I guess. Kayla has a bold, shining personality which can be really fun to be around, but she doesn't hold back from spurting out the truth, which can sting, especially on occasions like this.

"I didn't choose to move." I mutter to their backs as they storm ahead, although it comes out as a mere whisper. I follow them up to our form room, past the metal prison-bar gates and into the gloom of the Maths building, walking alone down the corridor before sidling into the room. It's just a normal day for everyone else: they're mooching about sharing chocolate or laughing over their phones, but not for me. I dawdle by my seat for a while, and then decide to just wait it out, so I slump down into the cold plastic chair and sigh. It's the start of a very long day.

I spend the whole morning by myself, enduring I.T alone - as the others opt to sit on the other side of the room, going to the toilets by myself at break, to top up my eyeliner and to waste time, and finally, at lunch, I grab a chicken wrap and bottled water, and retreat to the art room, where most of the nerdy kids hang out over dinnertime; sharing cherry pop and shortcake they've smuggled in from home. Rebels.

However, there's something I find vaguely comfortable about holing up in the warm, bright room, the scent of acrylic paint wafting up my nose. I sit by myself and get out some art homework so I don't look too much like a loner; I create some sort of collage by piecing together snippets from newspapers, and pictures from the dusty magazines the art department collect.

By the end of the school day, I'm still no closer to figuring out why they're so angry at me, but (to my utter surprise), I spot Kayla waiting down by the gates, so I speed up a little.

"Kayla?" I hoarsely whisper as I reach her, "What's going on?" Her gold-flecked eyes can't quite reach my gaze, as they stay permanently glued to the sprigs of weeds peppered amongst the cracked path, but she manages to reply.

"I don't know why I went along with it, I'm sorry. I was just really hurt that you would run off from me, and not bother to tell me about something like this!" Her dark chocolate curls bounce as she sighs, her light brown-gold eyes going glassy.

"I'm sorry, I was wrong to leave it this late," I admit as we make our way home, "Although I don't know why any of you got so angry! I hate falling out with people, you know I do, and don't you think I'm going through a tough time here?"