Rain

Rain poured down heavily from outside. Inside, Mark stood by the glass door looking out into the back garden in the depth of the night, watching as the rain hit nosily against the glass panels. He had lost track of how many hours he had been standing there watching the rain. Everyone had already gone to bed, leaving him and his thoughts alone. Only now did everything seem to take form in his mind. Today everything had truly changed. After so many years he had finally told Ronnie how he felt and Robbie had told him, too. If only things were different; if only the other day had never happened; if only he wasn't dying.

If only he wasn't dying. At the thought of leaving behind the only life he had ever known, a tear slipped out from his eyes and rolled down his cheek, eventually splashing onto the floor below. He didn't want to die; didn't want to leave everyone behind. Not now. Another tear slid down from Mark's eye and, soon enough, Mark felt sobs rise up from his body and attack him.

Mark rested his hand on the glass as he cried and pressed his forehead against it, too, and continued to cry. Being this close to the sound of the rain, mark could barely hear the sounds of his own sobs. The sound of the water having drowned out everything else. For a second, Mark wondered if the rain would drown him. He wondered if drowning was a better way to go than dying from a brain tumour. It was certainly quicker and maybe it was painless. Mark thought about what would happen if he chose to drown himself now. Would everyone be upset by his sudden death? Would they be more upset because they hadn't had enough time to prepare themselves for what was going to happen?

All the irrational thoughts going through his mind only made him more upset and soon, without him even realising he had done it, Mark found himself outside in the rain, the cold water pouring on top of him drenching him in seconds.

He sat on the grass, not caring that he was exposed to the rain, and brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He tried to make himself as small as he could, curling up and tried to protect himself from the arms of death. Maybe death was afraid of drowning and would stay away from him in the rain. Maybe it would carry on raining and the garden would flood, drowning him before he could be taken. The sad thing was, either way he was going to die.

Mark sat in the rain, crying, for ages, until it came to him that he didn't know how long he had been out here. It was still dark, however, so no one was going to miss him just yet. Though somewhere in the back of his mind, Mark wondered if he would be missed at all.

...

Robbie had been lying awake for a good hour now. His mind just wouldn't rest and the constant noise from the rain didn't help matters much at all. He couldn't remember the last time he had had a decent night's sleep. Everything was just so hard right now what with Mark being all and knowing that he wasn't going to win this fight.

As the rain continued to pour, Robbie wondered what Mark must be feeling. Yesterday, Mark had found out that he was going to die and today he had finally been told how his best friend really felt. Robbie couldn't begin to think what that must do to a person. However, Robbie was glad that he had told Mark how he felt – at least he now knew. He couldn't bear the thought if Mark died without him knowing just how loved he was.

Just like the night before, knowing that he wasn't going to be able to sleep, Robbie decided to go downstairs and clear his head. He carefully got out of bed, being careful not to wake Ayda, before making his was down into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen, he could hear the sounds of the rain hitting the window over the sounds of the kettle boiling as he made himself a hot chocolate. He looked outside the window for brief second at the rain before turning back to what he was doing.

He suddenly looked back outside again when it clicked in his mind that he had seen something that shouldn't be out there.

Robbie walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room where he could get better look out of the glass door. From where he stood, he could see a dark shape in the middle of the garden. Through his tired eyes and slowed-down brain, it took him a while to realise what he could see in the garden was moving ever-so-slightly. Eventually, everything clicked and Robbie sprung into life, opening the door quickly and running out onto the lawn.

"Mark!" Robbie called as he ran towards him, bending down next to him and wrapping his arms around the small, soaking man. "Shit, Mark, what are you doing out here?" Robbie asked worriedly

"Maybe if I stay out here, the rain will drown me and my death will be quick and painless." Mark said, mostly to himself, not even acknowledging Robbie's presence.

Robbie tried not to let Mark's words get to him, but that was hard when Mark was sat here in the rain, a sick and broken man; all hope for the future washed down the drain along with the rain.

"Don't talk like that, Mark, please." Robbie begged as the rain poured down over both of them, now soaking Robbie through as well as Mark.

"Then make it go away." Mark pleaded through tears. "Stop me from dying."

"I can't do that, Mark. I'm so sorry." Robbie said through tears of his own. He held onto Mark tightly, wanting to tell him, without words, that he was always going to be there for him.

Mark didn't say anything and let Robbie hold him tightly as they cried together in the rain. Robbie pressed a kiss to Mark's sodden hair and rocked him gently as his sobs started to get out of control. As he was held, Mark held onto Robbie like a lifeline and refused to let go. It didn't matter to either of them if they caught colds from being out here, all they cared about was that they were here together and in sharing this moment, they realised just how difficult things were going to become.

Eventually, the rain subsided and the two of them made their way into the warmth of the house. By the time the sun started to rise and the two of them lay on the sofa together, dry and warm, Mark looked out of the window and saw the wet grass glisten under the sunlight. As he watched, he snuggled up closer to Robbie in his embrace, briefly looking at him to find that his best friend was fast asleep, before looking back to the glistening grass and resting his head on Robbie's chest, smiling sadly to himself.

Maybe there was still hope...

-Fin-