I Can't Change. (Macklemore fanfic)

Chapter 17

I was sitting in front of the piano in Ryan's room idly. I hadn't played in ages. Daintily, I pressed the keys to 'Frére Jacques'. Maybe I still had it.

"Pictures in my pocket

Are faded from the washer

I can barely just make out your face

Food you saved for later

In my refrigerator

It's been too long since later never came

I know

One day eventually

Yeah, I know

One day I'll have to let it all go

But I keep it just in case

Yeah, I keep it just in case

In case

You don't find what you're looking for

In case

You're missing what you had before

In case

You change your mind, I'll be waiting here

In case

You just want to come home

Strong enough to leave you

But weak enough to need you

Cared enough to let you walk away

I took that dirty jacket

From the trash right where you left it

'Cause I couldn't stand to see it go to waste

I know

One day eventually

Yeah, I know

One day I'll have to let it all go

But I keep it just in case

Yeah, I keep it just in case

In case

You don't find what you're looking for

In case

You're missing what you had before

In case

You change your mind, I'll be waiting here

In case

You just want to come home

In case

You're looking in that mirror one day

And miss my arms

How they wrapped around your waist

I say that you can love me again

Even if it isn't the case

Ohhh

You don't find what you're looking for

Ohhh

You're missing my love

You don't find what you're looking for

In case

You're missing what you had before

In case

You change your mind, I'll be waiting here

In case

You just want to come home

In case." I played quietly, tapping away at the keys. I put my hands in my face and sobbed. God, I missed him.

"That was beautiful." A very masculine, familiar-smelling someone sat on the bench next to me. I knew I couldn't just forgive him, but I wanted to so badly.

"Audrey." He soothed, putting both his arms around my body that was racked with sobs. "Listen to me, baby. She is the one who wants me. Not the other way around. Kayla and I were talking about some paperwork when she literally just walked over and kissed me. I froze; I was shocked."

"It hurts." I whispered.

"Let me make it better." He said. I needed him more than anything in this moment, but I knew that I couldn't give in to him that easily.

"I just-"

"You don't have to say it." He said. "I know. It kills me that I did this to you. Okay, you haven't been out of this hotel in five whole days. We're going to the beach later. Why don't you come?"

I looked into his eyes cautiously. "Are you quite sure that's a good idea?"

"Of course not, but I think it's worth a shot." He smiled weakly. Finally, I nodded.

"I'll go get ready then." I said, quickly walking back to my room and breathing heavily.

**

"This is so beautiful." I said as we stepped onto the sand.

"You should get out more." Kayla said. I rolled my eyes, leaving them behind and walking into the water slowly.

"Oops!" A frisbee wacked into the side of my head. I looked over to see three guys looking at my sheepishly. I bent over and retrieved, walking over.

"I see you boys have misplaced your frisbee." I said.

"Accidentally." One smiled.

"Maybe you ought to be a little more careful." I winked, throwing it over their heads. "Have a nice day, boys."

I walked back to the edge of the beach and lie on my stomach, tanning.

"Make some friends?" Kayla's voice asked. I ignored her.

"Shut up." Ben said. I smiled, adjusting my sunglasses. They left to swim, and Ryan sat down beside me.

"So," he said, " how are things?"

"A little better." I shrugged.

"If it helps, she's obsessed with him, and the feeling isn't mutual." He said.

"Oh, I know. It's just- just a really horrible feeling." I replied.

"He really misses you, you know."

I looked at Ryan scornfully. "Did he ask you to say that?"

"No. I'm only telling you the truth." He said, and I could see the truth in his eyes.

"Thanks, Ryan. I changed my mind; you don't have to change your name." I grinned. He laughed, and we walked into the water.

"It's so pretty here." I sighed.

"Almost as pretty as you." Ben said. I rolled my eyes.

"Get on." He added, kneeling down. I hopped on his back and he walked out of the water.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked as he walked down the beach.

"We're just going for a stroll." He said.

I leaned my head over his and connected our lips. It didn't matter that I was upside down. It didn't matter that we were out in public.

It was symbolic, it was meaningful, it was my forgiveness.