Markiplier Fluffshots

Dear Mark

A personal request for @FutureVamp
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The images flashing across the television screen were sickening and mind numbing. Every time the news reported of the war in Iraq escalating, or I hear of soldiers being killed in combat, my heart breaks more and more. Mark was determined to follow in his father's footsteps. His perspective on fighting a senseless battle made it seem as if he felt like he was destined to do it. For Mark as far as he was concerned, it was his duty to not only his family but to his country.

I may never understand just how important the military is to him but, I'd always be his biggest supporter. As much as it pains to be without him every day, and as many sleepless nights I get from worrying about him, I'll still support him. What I found the most difficult was trying to explain to our four year old Jakob, why daddy isn't here. However, every time Jakob questioned me where Mark was, I would comfort in knowing I only had to explain daddy's 'fighting the bad guys,' as oppose to trying to explain why Mark is never coming home.

'Dear Mark,

Jakob has grown so much since you've been gone. In fact, he looks more and more like you every day and, he asks about you often. Sometimes when he smiles, I swear I could see a little piece of you in him.

The other day, when I seen four U.S soldiers were killed in the line of duty, I had a break down wondering if you were one of them. I wish I could say I'm strong but, I'm not. How can I be, when you've always been my sword and shield? I need you, Jakob needs you. We miss you more than I could ever put into words.

Christmas can't come soon enough. I need to know the touch of your skin, and feel the warmth of your lips against mine once more. I'll be waiting. Forever if I have to...

Love forever and always,
Ry'

Just writing to Mark, hearing on television that yet another six soldiers were killed today, I started to tear up. This was a type of pain many can understand but, no one in my household could especially, Jakob. I looked up from my pen and notebook in hand to see our four year old, sitting in the middle of the living room. He was laughing and smiling while he played with our dog. In the moment, that was the most simple yet joyous thing I had laid eyes on in a while.

"Jakob..." I closed my pen into my notebook and set it off to side of me on the couch. The gleam in my son's eyes as he looked up at me, reminded me so much of his father. For a moment I was surrounded by a familiar warmth, one in which I hadn't felt in a very long time. "Why don't you go get washed up for dinner." The aroma filling the air, and the light clanging of dishes coming from the kitchen told me dinner would be ready shortly. However, I mainly made that request because I wanted him to leave the room. I just wanted to have a few minutes to myself that way he didn't have to see me cry.

It was nice to be home with the family for Thanksgiving, surrounded by my loved ones was usually a great distraction. However, I had still felt so alone. It just didn't quite seem like the holidays without my husband and, the CNN report airing on television was just a reminder that my family felt so incomplete. The only thing really able to keep me together was the knowing he'd be home for Christmas but, even that felt like it was eternity away.

Each passing day was a blunt dagger being rammed into my heart because I couldn't see him, hold him or hear him tell me that he loves me every day. During his deployments the only thing keeping me stable were the letters we exchanged and the occasional skype chat when we could but, that only made me miss him more.

My attention was brought to the sound of a gentleman clearing their throat. I cocked my head to peer over my shoulder to see my father standing at the arch of the kitchen doorway, speaking to me with unspoken words. "Jakob, now please. Mommy needs to talk to Grandpa." What saddened me the most was looking back over to my baby boy and seeing him run along without question, it was almost like he had some sense of what was going on. I often wondered was was going on in that innocent little mind of his but whatever it was, I was grateful for. He was a true blessing.