Dancing with Artem Chigvintsev: Part 1

7

When I told Artem earlier that I was going out again tonight he was hesitant to allow me. I had made a complete fool of myself the previous night and we have rehearsals bright and early tomorrow morning. I gave in and told him I would be with Maks and he smirked as if he had deja vu from our past. However, he agreed that he knew I would be safe.

After having only two drinks and dancing for an hour, Maks and I took a walk down the beach so we could talk.

"I had fun tonight." I said.

"Me as well." He smiled "it's good to get out sometimes and not have to be worrying about Peta. I know she is safe. Today it was my turn to worry about you."

"It just feels nice being out with you because you tell me like it is and you protect me when I don't need protecting. You make me feel safe."

"Good. I'm over protective of you because your delicate, you get hurt easily and I'm sorry that I hurt you in the past."

"You didn't ." I lied "I mean, you still became my friend, you didn't dump me on the side of the road and tell me to move on."

"Did you really want to continue dating me when Artem was out in the world."

I was hoping I could go one night without hearing Artem's name but I guess not.

"I would never have hurt you." I said "I would have always stayed with you as long as we were together."

"So you were in love with two people." He said.

"You told me earlier to go out and find the man of my dreams, and I already found him, twice." I admitted "you and Artem. I don't know how to let my heart open again."

He was looking out into the ocean staring at the waves moving up and down and closer to us and then further away.

After a few moments of silence Maks sort of had a mental breakdown.

"Why would you tell me all this." He said bitterly. "I didn't want to know that you still loved me" he looked like Artem had looked yesterday when Maks told him the same thing. That I loved him.

"Maks." I said "I'm sorry, Peta is my bestfriend and the love of your life. I wasn't saying I was head over heels in love with you, I just am stuck in this world between two relationships, unable to fit in."

"Sunday night, after the show is over, we're going to the after party and then we're going to find you someone. I may even set you up on a blind date."

"Maks!" I said "that's not necessary."

"I want the best for you, your an emotional girl, but when your happy it radiates and when your sad it makes everyone sad and we all want to fix you."

I am tired of needing to be fixed and saved all the time. I want to go back to New York. I want to feel at home, in my element. The dance studio that Maks and Val own.

I decided I would ask Artem if after the show we could fly out there and do our rehearsals and fly back for dress rehearsals next week.