Sparks Fly {the flash}

fourteen

"Do not approach that bomb, Barry." Caitlin ordered. "You will be walking right into Hartley's trap if you do anything."

"I don't have a choice, Caitlin." He replied as Cisco started hacking into security cameras around the scene.

Before I knew it, we were all staring a large structure that was glowing against the dark night. It looked to be in a circular shape, but I couldn't be 100% sure. The lights beaming off of it were distorting the image on the screen. What I could see for sure was Barry staring straight at the massive weapon, and the thought of what he wanted to do made me nauseous. I couldn't believe that he wanted to willingly walk into something that he knew was going to kill him. I couldn't believe that he was okay with turning his back on everyone and everything that was close to him, including Joe and me. Even though we'd only known each other for a matter of months, there was an undeniable bond between us, and I was having a hard time comprehending the fact that he was okay with just throwing that away for someone like Hartley Rathaway.

"You do have a choice. You just have to give us a minute to figure something out." Caitlin pleaded.

"We don't have that kind of time. This thing could blow any minute, and I have to find a way to stop it."

"And how exactly are you going to do that?" Cisco questioned.

Barry sighed slightly, running his hands over the top of his mask like he would if he could run his hands through his hair. "I don't know. Maybe I can try to stop it from the inside."

"Are you insane? That will kill you!"

"I have to try, Cisco."

"Barry." My voice shook as I looked at him on the screen, his bright eyes staring into the face of his mortality. "Barry, don't do this."

"I have to, Izzy." He replied, his voice trying to sound stern but coming off upset and strained. "This is the only choice I have left."

"No it isn't. There are other ways to save the city, other ways that won't get you inevitably killed."

"None of them are going to be fast enough to beat Hartley."

I swallowed hard, fighting back my tears as much as I could. "Barry," my voice cracked, "please do not do this. I..." I closed my eyes. "I like you, Barry. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone and in a different way than I've ever liked anyone, and I'm not okay with losing that this quickly. I've never trusted someone like you, and if you walk in there, you're putting not only your life on the line but my trust as well, and you of all people know how hard it is for me to trust anyone." I felt a tear slip through my closed eyelids as I spoke. "I can't lose you too, Barry. I've lost every person I've ever loved: my parents, my sister, my grandparents, my best friends... They all either died or left me, and it has killed me time and time again. If I lose you too, I don't think that I'm going to be able to take it, so please please do the smart thing and stay away from that bomb. I'm not ready to lose you too, and I'm definitely not ready to lose you to some asshole like Hartley. I am begging you to step away from that trap and honor the obligation you have to your friends, your family, and to me."

The silence that followed my words was deafening. Caitlin and Cisco were deathly quiet as they stared at their friend illuminated on the computer screen, my pleas ringing in their ears like a bell. On some level, Barry knew how I felt about him but definitely not to this degree. We'd never spoken about it aloud because we were both too terrified to see what would happen afterwards. I could feel Cisco and Caitlin's tension wafting off of them, both of them wanting Barry to back off as much as I did but knowing that what they would say would have no affect on him. I could only imagine how hard this was for them. They had seen him stare into the face of death more than once, but this time was different. This time, they were unsure if he was going to be able to come out on top because of how unpredictable Hartley was. There was no certainty either way, and that was probably the most terrifying part about this situation. I was just praying that what I said would reach him so that he would walk away. I wouldn't be able to handle losing him after losing everyone else. It would kill me, and he was well aware of it.