This is for that special boy.
That boy who always smiled at me but didn't necessarily say hello to me or talk to me at all that day.
That boy with black hair, glasses and a love for anime.
That boy who was my first boyfriend.
That boy who held the key to my heart.
That boy who I may or may not have crushed his heart.
We are still friend.
I don't know if you still like me.
Or if I even crushed your heart at all. Maybe what I did was a relief.
Just know that you were my first crush.
My first love.
I still think about you.
What would happen if I decided not to break up with you?
You might wonder why I did what I did.
I still liked you. You gave signs that you still liked me.
Then why?
Because we were cowards.
We were young. No, scratch that. We are still young.
We didn't ever kiss. Or hug.
I'm still saving my first kiss for you.
I do imagine what it would be like to kiss you.
Would it be awkward? Or nice? A mixture of both?
Do you still think of me?
Do you ever wonder why I broke up with you?
Is us being cowards, all it is?
Maybe I had a feeling it wouldn't last. Not now at least. Maybe when we are older.
When it's not just puppy love or whatever we had.
But it was nice.
We didn't see each other often. Only once a month.
But we texted a lot.
I still remember when you said you liked me.
We were playing truth and dare. And somebody asked you "Who is your crush?"
You blushed and didn't answer immediately. But you pointed at me.
The next day, you didn't talk to me at all.
Of embarrassment? Regret?
I remember when we came home I sent a message to you asking why you didn't talk to me at all that day.
You said sorry. But with no answer.
Shortly after, maybe one week later, you asked me to be your girlfriend.
I said yes.
I remember asking you "Since how long have you liked me?"
"It was love at first sight."
It still makes me happy to this day.
This is for that special boy.
That boy who always smiles at me but doesn't necessarily say hello to me or talk to me at all that day.
That boy with black hair, glasses and a love for anime.
That boy who was my first boyfriend
That boy who still holds the key to my heart.
Just know that I remember a lot of the things. A lot of the things you said to me. What you texted me. What you did for me.
It never went unnoticed.
And I'm hoping when we're older, that what we had, could be more possible.
Thank you.
