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Chapter 3 - Letters.

Elly, If your reading this then you didn't let me explain myself face to face. I'm sorry . I'm so so so sorry Elly . I didn't mean to hurt you . You caught me off guard , Elly I loved you since we were like 11 . I remember that day like yesterday. It was one of our sleepover Saturdays remember ? we used to make sleepovers every Saturday ? it was one of those days , but that day , my cat died .Even tho Gusby was like your cat too you didn't cry in front of me , but I was a crying mess. but you were there for me even tho you felt the loss of Gusby too I remember hearing you cry in the middle of the night when you thought I was asleep . I remember feeling sad that day because you didn't cry in front of me so I wouldn't feel more sad of loosing a cat ! I loved you since that day Elly . That day I realised that you put my happiness First instead of yours And I love you for that! I really do.

when you told me you loved that day before I left , I was mad that after five years you told me on that day the day I had to leave you, it was unfair .I didn't know what to do I went running on my mum and dad saying that I couldn't leave. I didn't want to leave, but you knew that . you knew that I didn't want to leave. But that day I cried, I cried on my mum to not make me leave she told me that I have to because my fucken dad won my custod because of his job . I hated him . I still hate him because he made you hate me Elly. I know you hate me But please , just please give me a chance.

I didn't want to see you after that. to see the disappointment in you eyes Elly. I asked my mum everyday How were you, you know . I didn't like it when she told me that you were getting bullied in school. Then she told me that you started Kick boxing . really Elly ? kickboxing in your height ? After that I heard how you kicked Alison's ass and she ended up in the hospital with a broken nose . and the boyfriends . I was hurt , really really hurt . hearing how you got a boyfriend after boyfriend. I was jealous . But you were getting in trouble at school , fights, parties . all because of me , because I hurt you. But Elly I'm back we can make everything right again you can trust me . like you used to , Elly I'm in love with you , I'm so Inlove with you Elsa Proud.

He's in love with me. but no I can't let him in again . I made a promise to myself that I never let anyone in again.

As I got in the kitchen I saw my mum , dad and Kassidy on the kitchen island . Their eyes snapped at me as I made my way to the fridge to get something to feed the growling bear inside me.

''Honey? how are you?' I know the tone my mum used, she was afraid I would break again . Not gonna happen ma.

''I'm fine ma, just hungry you know the usual. '' She looked at me like she's trying to read me . I could feel something inside me stir . feelings. I hate feelings I can't let them tho I can't let them know that I really am not okay . I can't let them know how I have the urge to cry right now , how I wish that the Elsa of two years ago would just come back so I wouldn't see these looks my parents and Kassidy where given me right now. but I couldn't cause with the old Elsa comes Pain and I couldn't handle pain.

''I'm gonna go , I have a lesson at 10 till 2 , and then I have training don't wait up, love yous ''

and I just went through the door .