Second Date

Chapter 31: Poison

Chapter 31: Poison

"...you're kidding!"

Flynn pointed down a black well. It looked – and smelled – like a giant esophagus.

"This is your idea of help?"

Jim leaned over the well. Experimentally he dropped a pebble, gauging the depth.

"Yeah." he answered after the pause. The pebble hadn't hit after ten seconds. The well was deep. Very deep. "Why? There a problem? Rapunzel, can you come here a sec?"

"Problem?" Flynn exclaimed as Rapunzel joined Jim. "Problem? Yes there is a problem! Jimbo – this is the entrance to the villains' lair! We're standing on the doormat of HELL!"

"It's an underground tunnel system." Frowning, Jim examined Rapunzel's pigtails. "Not the doormat of Hell. There are maps and everything."

"Maps? Maps? Maps to seven circles of Hell!"

"Okay Flynn – get off the Hell thing."

"How do you even know this is here?" Flynn motioned hysterically. "What you just happened to stumble upon a magic well hidden under a stone tile at the base of Cinderella's Castle?"

"Flynn – the tile is marked. Welcome. Leave All Hope Behind."

"So you just happened to stumble upon a magic well hidden under a suspiciously labeled stone tile at the base of Cinderella's Castle?"

"Silver and Sparrow showed me." Jim started unbraiding Rapunzel's hair. "They're both shifty good guys, which is the same thing as a shifty bad guy. So they've been through the villain tunnels."

"Have you?"

"Few times."

"Alone?"

"Not exactly."

"Oh god!" Flynn pulled his face. "We're going to die!"

"Jim." said Ariel. "Flynn's not completely wrong."

"Aye." Merida agreed. "This is the villains' home, and if the stories are true, it's a maze down there. We might as well spit in the dragon's eye."

Apprehensively, Merida fingered her bow. "We assumed when ye said Cinderella's Castle, ye meant we'd find Mickey Mouse. Why do we need help from the villains?"

"Not villains. Villain. Just one." Jim hefted Rapunzel's hair. It slipped over his arms like golden thread. "The Evil Queen."

"The Evil Queen?!" Flynn followed Jim to the well. "The Empress of All Envy? Miss Doesn't Play Nice? Mirror, mirror on the wall; who's the freakin fairest babe of all!? THAT Evil Queen?"

Jim bundled Rapunzel's hair at the well. "You forgot Psychopathic Murderess."

Merida caught Flynn before he threw a punch.

"You're crazy!" Flynn pointed at Jim. "Years of insanity have made you crazy! Jimbo – why do we need help from The Evil Queen?"

"Because!" Jim spun, one hand on Rapunzel's hair. "Because she was the first Disney villain! Because she's obsessed with beauty, hearts, and all that love crap so she can screw it up, or use it for herself! Because her poison apple can be cured by a kiss! Ergo – she must know everything about black magic AND the white magic used to break it! Specifically, kisses!"

Jim wound Rapunzel's hair around his palm. "We've got to get Wendy's memory back, right? So we've got to break Maleficent's curse. And I don't know about you, but there is no way I'm going head to toe with Maleficent."