Cry baby (Peter pan ouat)

Mad Hatter

" Hello and welcome to the marvelous town of Storybrooke, where all the fairytale characters are real. I am the Mad Hatter, my dear." The man sitting in front of me laughed and then began to sob quietly into his hands. " Excuse him he is very drunk and has gone mad from the grief of being able to see his daughter but never able to hold her." A blonde lady slid into the booth beside my 'father'.

I sat silently still trying to comprehend what he just said. "Hello, kid. Well let me break it down for you. This whole town is filled with story book characters stuck in the land with no magic." At this I scoffed, there is no way in hell that the story book characters could actually exist. "Yeah right and I am -6 years old. See it's not possible, it's like zero divided by zero. So please stop fucking around with my emotion and just let me go home."

With that I got up and stormed to the door, when out of nowhere a boy with dirty blonde hair and forest green eyes blocking my path to freedom. "Excuse me, could you like oh I dont know maybe MOVE." He then grabbed my arm, harshly might I add,"Now we cant have that now can we love," and with that he threw a bean at the ground and a dark colorful spiral took its place and the mysterious boy jumped in and took me along with him. I squeezed my eyes shut for the colorful swirls and the motion was too much.

"You can open em' now, love," my kidnapper chuckled at the end. What I saw could only be explained by one word, mindfuck. We were no longer in the cozy cafe, but in a jungle-beach area. "What the hell, how did we get here? Why did you take me? Who the hell are you? Why am I here? What do you want?" I started spit firing questions at the boy. After a more thorough scan of the boy him and his attire fit the scenarie considering there are mountains in the jungle and hills by the beach. "Well, sweetheart, about 40% of your questions I'll answer later. First, we got here through a portal, second, we I am Peter Pan, and third, I want you,"

'Peter Pan' then continued to walk further into the jungle brush only slowing down to cut branches out of the path. "Ok, seriously asshole what did you drug me with?" This guy was f*cking pissing me off, like if your going to drug someone at least tell them what they're on. 'Peter Pan' chuckled darkly like the villains in the movies. Now that I think about it, he's exactly like the villains in the movies,he's British, charming,chuckles darkly, the only thing he's missing is the creepy cat they always pet. "Hey Pan-hole, where's your creepy cat." I burst into fits of giggles at the thought of him petting a cat. "I see that the island's magic is returning you to your true personality." He smirked with that look that says 'I-know-something-that-you-don't'.

Suddenly, the world was spinning, purple, and curvy.I giggled,"Why is that purple tree sagging?" Pan cursed "Sh*t, this wasn't supposed to happen so soon." He then proceeded to scoop me up in his arms and carry me bridal style through the curvy, purple forest. After a while, the steady bounce in Pan-hole's steps were lulling me to sleep. With that I feel asleep thinking that if hand sanitizer can kill 99.9% of germs, and Voldemort can kill 100% of whatever he wants, except for Harry Potter, then isn't Voldemort hand sanitizer because he can only kill 99.9% of whatever he wants.