I was so pissed that I chugged the beer straight and threw the empty can as far as I can.
"Urggh!" Then I shout at the top of my lungs,
"FUCK YOU KA!!!" repeatedly.. I put my both hands on my head. "Pesteng buhay naman to! Bakit kasi IKAW pa?!" I sobbed uncontrollably "It's been a week since she left. Bakit niya ginagawa 'to? Hindi naman niya kailangang umalis e."
"Shit Glaiza! Ano ka ba?! In the first place ikaw ang may kasalanan kung bakit siya umalis." I pause for a moment staring at the only that thing makes the night bright. I shook my head then I sit up. "Stopped thinking about her. She doesn't even care, iniwanan ka na niya!?"
It's the last thing I said as my vision gets cloudy from the tears.
Being tired from shouting, I lean my back and close my eyes. Swim through my own tears. Darkness is inevitable at the moment. Savoring the bitterness of this jiff, I close my eyes not because I am sleepy, not because I'm drunk, but to clear my thoughts that has been running back and forth on my head ever since she left. These fucking memories, I want them out of my head
.
'Close your eyes Cha.' I said to myself to calm me. 'Don't think anything. Clear your mind.
Now that you found out
Will you dare to go beyond?
Or will you just pass it by?
Now that you found out
Will you be brave enough?
To faced your fears.
In the middle of my concentration I heard a knock on my door but I didn't mind it. I wasn't expecting anyone to visit nor do remember calling for delivery. So I continue what I'm doing.
Confronting me, asking me
But in the end -
I heard a knock again but it's more forceful this time. Feeling disrupted I put down hard my pen in the top of the paper. I stand up; leave my guitar at the couch.
"Sino ba 'tong istorbong 'to?" I said as I reach for the door knob. I was surprised by the person I saw in front of me. She was looking at her feet and hand's still swinging and about to knock again. "Hey! Napadalaw ka?" She looked up to me and gave me a warm smile. 'Don't smile like that.' I swung the door wide open so she could enter.
"To sur...prise.. you..." She said slowly. Feeling puzzled as she enter while I'm closing the door behind us. "But it seems like I'm the one who got 'surprise' by these 'ART'" in a sarcastic smile, she points through the crumpled paper that scattered all over the floor that I throw a while ago.
Scratching my eyebrow "Ano... ano kasi...uhm," I hurried to pick up the mess.
"So you're composing again." She asks me while scanning the parchment. I didn't she see her coming to my table. "This is cool, lyrics palang maganda na. What more pa kung may melody na? She nods. Then glance back at me pulling back her lips to form a smile on her lips. 'God, Rhian stop doing that' I said at the back of my mind as I continue to pick up the trash and put it in the bin. But I was so tense, so tense that the papers fall down again on the floor. FUCK!
