I feel someone shaking my shoulder. It did stop. Then again, but this time it's more powerful. I open my eyes to see who the hell interrupts me. But I can't see it clearly, my eyes are blurry. Then I hear a voice.
"Hey, are you alright?" faded image starting to be clearer. "Hey, are you alright?"
I rubbed my eyes and blink rapidly to see it clearly. I saw a familiar face and then I look outside the window and I realize that I'm moving, we're moving actually. I fix myself, seat up straight and fix my seatbelt.
"Glai? Huyyy ano ok ka lang ba?" It was Rhian, she taps me again.
I just nod and put my hand in my head, gosh what's with this sweat? I ask myself.
"Bad dream?" Rhian asked while her eyes are on the road, driving. "So what's your dream?" she slows down the speed as we approach the last stop light.
"Wala yun. It's nothing... to talk about." I close my eyes again.
"Okay" She replied.
I start to recall my dream. I don't know what I will do if that happen to me. To be rejected by someone you love. I can't. To love someone who's madly in love and committed to someone else. To be left alone after confessing everything, what do you expect Glai mag-stay siya? I sighed heavily. Panaginip lang yun Glaiza, hindi yan totoo, at hindi yan magkakatotoo. Huwag mo na munang ispin. Just enjoy your day with Rhian. I thought to myself.
Thank God it's just a dream. Just a dream.
After awhile, we finally got to our destination. The place is familiar, it's like I've been here before. The mountain, the bright lights from the city buildings. The cars and the... lovers? I went outside the car. Stand right next to the railings beside the cliff. She handed me a beer.
Is this a joke? Coincidence or am I still dreaming? I pinched myself to wake me up. I can feel the hurt so it means I'm not dreaming. This is real.
"Ganda ng place 'no? You like it?" Rhian said while looking to the view in front of us.
"Yeah, I like it. Tahimik. Nakak-relax, I didn't know may alam ka pala sa ganitong place." I agree.
"Ikaw lang e. Wala kang bilib sakin minsan." She looks at me while sipping her own beer.
We spend hours talking to a random and nonsense stories. We laugh to our own corny jokes. Sing, even sometimes where out of tune. We listen to each other sentiments and issues. We really did enjoy the night. Were not just weird, we're crazy too! We even put vandals on the railings. We just laugh after we write "Rastro is real, walang makakapigil samin." We leave the place happy. It's obvious in our face as we got in the car. Since Rhian is the one who drive earlier, it's my turn in the wheel.
After an hour of driving we reach my place. She insist to drop me off first since it's nearer.
"Rhian, Thank you, thank you, thank you for tonight. Sobra kong nag-enjoy. Salamat talaga. Ulitin natin 'to ha!" I kissed her on her cheek and say goodbye.
She maneuvers herself to the driver's seat. When she settles herself, I waved goodbye to her.
"Glaiza, thank you din sa pagsama hindi mo alam kung gaano mo ko pinasaya kanina. Thank you so much!"
"Sus! Wala yun, ikaw pa ba? Kelan ako humindi sa'yo?"
She smile sadly, "Gusto mo paalala ko sa'yo kung kelan ka humindi sakin?
I scratch my forehead to the last one the she said. "Naku wag na nating pag-usapan yan, okay na tayo di ba?"
"Bye, hanggang sa muli nating pagkikita!" She starts the engine and drive.
I went inside my house and sit on a couch so I could rest. I reach for my phone inside my bag and texted Rhian
"Drive safely. Text me when you get home."
I didn't wait for her reply. I hurriedly go to my room, place my bag and phone to the side table. Something dropped on the floor. I reach for it; it was the envelope that Rhian gave to me before we leave the place awhile ago. I peel to open. My first guess that it was an invitation but as I open it, it was a... poem?
Aking naalala g magtama an gating mga mata
At nang iyong hinawakan ang aking kamay.
Tingin mong kay lagkit
Mga ngiting kay tamis
Yakap mong kay higpit
Mga halik na nakaka-miss
Inaabangan, inaantabayanan
Ako'y nananabik, sayo'y nasasabik
Na muling makita ka
Muling makausap
Muling masama
Kahit sa huling pagkakataon
Muling makita ka
Muling makausap
Muling masama
Kahit sa huling pagkakataon
Hanggang sa muling pagkikita
Hanggang sa muling mga yakap
Hanggang sa muling kwentuhan
Hanggang sa muli
Hanggang sa huli
Hanggang sa huli ikaw pa rin.
I read the lines which are written in tagalog. I flip to the other side for the continuation. But it was a letter this time.
Glaiza,
First I hope you if you like the lyrics I made. Well, I know it sucks because it's all in tagalog. I'm sorry for that. Anyway, to make it straight, I want to thank you for everything you'd done for me. For the laugher and craziness especially when were together.
I know I've said this before, that you will always hold a special place in the organ that pumps my blood. Nothing can change that. No one can change that. But there's still a part of me that still longing for your love that you can't give. Which I'm still trying and learning to accept that were better off as "friend'. You and I both agree to be friends. This really hurt. Really.
I shouldn't say this but, I still love you Glaiz,. I really do. You may see me smiling all the time but deep inside me there's the pain - of being rejected. I can't handle that. I can't stand to see you when I know to myself that I still feel something for you.
The first one you read is for you. I made that for you. It's my way of letting me to move on into something I never had. I was really hurt to be honest. I need to move on. And this is my first step. I will not say sorry for loving you, in fact, I'm happy because it was you that I love. I never felt this kind of love before, sa'yo lang.
Thank you for everything, for all the craziness and memories. I heart you.
Love,
Rhian
P.S
Hanggang sa muli pagkikita.
